Page 82 of Sidelined Love

“You don’t know how much I want to storm over to your parents’ house and speak my mind.”

“That won’t help much.”

“You never know if you don’t try it. Sometimes I like to watch things burn before asking questions,” I say, and I mean every word.

Levi gives me a dry chuckle. “I can see how that would work to your advantage.”

“Regardless, as I said last night, it's no big deal,” I say, but it's more so me being nervous about where this conversation could be going that has me trying to put another wall up.

This time he leans over to touch me, allowing his hand to hold onto mine. I’ve quickly learned this is a comfort thing for him. “And as I said, you say it's no big deal, but it is. You didn'thave to come last night when I was in the midst of… whatever that was, but you did.”

He's right, I didn't have to go to him, but I did. And I'm finally willing to admit that.

“Okay, it was a big deal, mostly because I left the warmth and comfort of my apartment to go to you.” I wait a beat to see his reaction and when he shakes his head and smiles, I continue, “But seriously, it's a big deal because not only did you want me in your time of need, but I also wanted to be there for you.”

“That means more than you'll ever know. Because I needed you last night. More than I've ever needed anyone else.” His hand squeezes mine gently.

I don't pull away or mask my feelings with sarcasm. Instead, I let the connection we share remain because it makes me feel whole. I think it's helping him too.

“Just so you know, all of this is frightening to me. This is supposed to remain a casual thing, Levi.”

“I know, but that doesn't mean things can't change if we want them to.”

Once again, he's right, and while I'm not too keen on the thought of change, maybe it wouldn't hurt to try. I hesitate before I finally gather enough courage to say the words on the tip of my tongue. “Is this something we want to do?”

The tables have shifted slightly. I feel more vulnerable by asking the question because I'm afraid of his answer.

“So, I talked to Asher yesterday… before everything happened at his place.”

I nod and wait for him to continue.

“And he asked me if I would be okay with things between us remaining as they are.”

“And? What did you say?”

“I told him I would because if that's the only way I could get you, then that would be enough. But that was a lie.”

I swear I can hear my blood pounding in my ears. There's no doubt in my mind he's going to say that he wants more than just a casual relationship with me.

He takes a deep breath before continuing. “I'm saying that I care about you, Hailey. A lot more than I ever planned to. And I don't want to keep pretending that this is just a casual thing between us. At least on my end.”

I'm stunned into silence as I process Levi's words. Is this really happening to me? The sincerity I see in his eyes tells me it is as he waits to hear what I have to say in return.

Part of me wants to pull back, to retreat behind the walls I've built around my heart after having a front-row seat to my mother abandoning her family. But I don't want to run and hide anymore. I owe it to myself to explore this and if it leads to my getting hurt in the process, at least I can say I tried.

“I agree that what's going on between us isn't casual anymore.”

Levi raises an eyebrow at me. “Does that mean you're agreeing with me, and you want to see where this goes? On a more serious basis?”

“Yeah. I mean, I can't promise it'll be easy. My issues with trust and commitment won't just disappear overnight.” I pause, chewing my lip. “But I want to try. With you.”

Levi reaches out, brushing a strand of hair behind my ear. “That's all I'm asking for. We'll take it one step at a time. But I need to do this first.”

He lets go of my hand and pulls the stool over so that my legs are now between his. He leans forward and lays a searing kiss on my lips, leaving me breathless.

As we break apart, he rests his forehead against mine.

“I've wanted to do that all morning,” he says.

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