‘No?’ His voice sounded hopeful.
‘No, but?—’
‘No buts. Do you regret the kiss, Amber? Tell me the truth right now. If you do, I’ll leave and I will never mention it again.’
He’d moved closer still, and the hand she’d held on the door handle slipped off and around his waist. She felt unsteady on her own legs, and the cocktails they’d necked were not the only reason.
‘We’ve been drinking,’ she pointed out.
‘I’m not that drunk,’ he retorted. ‘You?’
Since their lips had touched, she’d felt as sober as a judge, but it was a factor. Had to be.Didn’t it?
‘Well, no.’
He was assessing her with that gaze of his again.
‘So I didn’t take advantage?’
Her heartbeat was pounding in her ears. ‘No, Tyler, you’d never do that.’
The crease in his brow fell.
‘I just don’t know what that was, Tyler. What it means. I don’t want to mess this up.’
‘Yeah?’ He wrapped his other arm around her. ‘Maybe I should do it again. Just to be certain. Help you decide.’ He huffed out a breath. ‘I think we both need a little clarity right now.’
Her fingers tightened on his waist. She could feel the muscles tense underneath.
‘Tyler.’
‘Yes or no, Amber? Tell me to leave. If you don’t feel what I just did, I’ll go and never mention it again. It never happened.’
‘It would be easier. For both of us.’
He shook his head. ‘Screw that. Life’s not easy. You taught me that. I sat on the sidelines of my own life before I met you. I never wanted things after London; I didn’t see the point. My ex, Lauren?’
Amber nodded, holding her breath.
‘She was pregnant.’
Amber stiffened, watching Tyler sort through his feelings before he spoke again. ‘It wasn’t planned. I was working all kinds of hours, building my career. I wanted to open my own place eventually. But then she was pregnant, and I was happy.’ He shook his head, brows knitted together. ‘I thought it was a good thing, you know.’
‘What happened? To the baby?’
‘She was acting weird all through the pregnancy. I was working to get some money together. She was distant. I thought it was just hormones, you know. Stress. ’Til she told me the truth. She waited almost nine months to admit that the kid wasn’t mine. Blamed me.’ His laugh was hollow. ‘Said it was my fault, leaving her alone all the time. She got bored, had an affair with someone from work.’
‘Oh Tyler. I had no idea.’
He shrugged. ‘I stayed around ’til the baby was born. The paternity came back. The little guy wasn’t mine, so I left. I packed up my shit, quit my job, and left London the next day. Came here.’
‘I can’t believe she did that to you.’
‘I can. The two of us, we were never really good, you know? If not for the baby, we’d have ended a long time before, but I got attached. I loved the baby before I even met him. Did the whole thing, shopping for cribs. Ultrasounds. I was all in. I was going to be a dad, and then I wasn’t. He didn’t look like me, when he was born. I was there. I was still there for her, you know? The other guy split the second he found out, and I stayed. The second I saw him, I knew. It broke my fucking heart not to be his dad, after all that. Even though I didn’t love his mother, I still wanted him to be mine. I didn’t trust her after that, and she knew it.’
‘You would have stayed?’
He shook his head. ‘It wouldn’t have worked. We both knew it was over the second the test came back. She told me to leave, and I felt… relieved. It wouldn’t have been right for the kid either. He deserved better than that. So I came here, got my head down. I just wanted to cook. When I first came for this job, I wasn’t going to take it for long. I just wanted a break before I figured out my next move. It was meeting you that changed my mind. Kept me here. I see how much you mean to everyone around you. How happy you make people without even realising it. You taught me to fight for the life you want. I’m realising more and more that being scared of things, being damaged by the past. It does nothing but wreck your future.’