Page 47 of Don't You Want Me, Baby?

‘No,’ he rumbled. ‘You’re upset.’

‘Yeah, I’m upset, but I still need you to go. This won’t work, Tyler, okay? You have your own life to live. I have the Arms to get, and the baby plan.’

‘You were going to do that alone anyway,’ he cut in. ‘I can help, be part of it. I am part of it.’

‘Tyler,’ she sighed, folding her arms over her chest to hold herself together. ‘This was a mistake, okay? I got carried away, but I am going to make this right. I’m sorry, but this…’ she gestured between them, ‘is not happening. You should ring the agency, go to London.’

‘Coward,’ he spat. ‘You want this, and there’s a million excuses not to, but I don’t care. I’m scared too, but you’re the one running. Not me. Don’t do this, please. Amber, not now. I don’t care about any of it. I just want to be with you. You can’t do this. Not now. It will fucking kill me.’Kill him? I already want to die.One thing she was sure of, other than the fact that she was pushing away the one person who truly knew her, was that she’d never find this again. When he left, that would be it. She would spend the rest of her life alone.But at least he will get his dream too. Be happy. Even if he hates me.

‘I can’t do this,’ she said, her voice breaking. ‘It’s too complicated.’ And then she lowered the boom. ‘You’re my friend. That’s all you’ll ever be. We want different things.’I want you, but you deserve so much more. You deserve to put yourself first for once. I want that foryou more than I want you for myself.No more staying behind for a woman who had only just realised what she had. What she was throwing away, despite every cell in her body yearning for him.‘I’m sorry. If that makes me a coward, then fine. It’s about me. What I want.’What I want for you.‘I won’t have a baby with someone who doesn’t want the same things. I grew up with parents like that, I won’t do it to my own kid.’

He looked at the floor, the knuckles of his fingers white as they gripped the clothes in his hands.

‘The baby? Amber, I know I was against it, but that’s no reason for us not to try. I thought… maybe we’d do it together. Maybe you’d change your mind. Wait a little while.’ His face was stricken, confusion marring his features. And then she saw it. The way she could get him to leave, to give up on her and put himself first. ‘I don’t get it. I don’t see what changed from last night. I’m not leaving ’til you tell me the truth.’

‘No, Tyler, you don’t get it. How could you? I have a plan, and you are not part of it. I want the Arms, to be a mother. That’s not going to stop; I’m not waiting. You don’t want this, and I can’t afford to waste time. I don’t want you to either. You deserve that London job. I want that for you.’

‘I get that, but?—’

He fell silent when she raised her hand.

‘No, you don’t. Life doesn’t just wait for everything you want. Things have an expiration date. Plans, eggs. We rushed into things last night. We didn’t think about the consequences.’

‘Bullshit,’ Tyler rumbled, thrusting his jeans on and pulling his top over his head. ‘You’re freaking out about the London thing. None of that is us!’

She shook her head, moving out of the bedroom.

‘There is no us. I’m sorry.’ She balled her fists at her sides. ‘I want you to go.’

‘Amber…’

‘Tyler, leave. Please.’

She left him then, going to sit on the couch in the living room because her legs felt like they were about to give out. She didn’t cry until she heard the door to her flat close behind him.

17

The next three days were a blur for Tyler. He’d run through everything they’d said that morning. Wishing he’d told her long ago about Lauren, and the baby that was never his. If he had, maybe she wouldn’t have woken up with him in her place and freaked the fuck out. He knew she felt it, perhaps not everything he did, but something. He was so close to getting her to himself, finally. Now what was he supposed to do? Watch her live out her life from the sidelines, like before? He wasn’t going to live through watching her with another man. After finally being with her, he couldn’t accept the alternative. Even her baby plans didn’t scare him. Truth was, whatever she wanted, he wanted to be the one to give it to her. When they’d forgotten the condom, and she’d told him it was okay, he’d wondered whether she would feel the same if it amounted to getting pregnant. Had practically wished for it, as screwed up as that was. His jealousy of her using someone else’s swimmers had pounded between his ears when she’d first told him. When he’d thought about it later, he’d realised he didn’t care. She wasn’t Lauren. It wouldn’t be a living thing born from deceit. He would love any baby she had, in whatever way she became amother, because he loved her. Had loved her since the moment they’d met at the Slug, and his tongue had betrayed him by locking up in his damn mouth. He wanted her, not some job in London.

He knew she’d done it for him. He could see it in her eyes, the way she was pushing him away because she wanted him to have his dreams, too. Scared of being left behind again, she’d pushed him first. Only thing was, his dreams were her. He’d love nothing better than to be the father to her kids, any kids she had. If she wanted her own damn football team, he was in. For all of it. To stand side by side with her in the Arms.My dream is you.Plain and simple. His career wasn’t about accolades, or Michelin stars. He didn’t care about his own empire; he just wanted to make people happy with his food. Bring joy to people, just like Amber did to those around her. But she wasn’t listening. She’d barely looked at him since she’d kicked him out of her place. She sent Sharon into the kitchen whenever she could. If she was in his orbit for more than a few minutes, she practically ran away. She looked tired, drawn. He could swear she’d been crying, but he couldn’t get close enough to her to find out. He’d tried to call her, but she didn’t pick up, so he’d changed to texts. She didn’t answer them either, after the first one.

Go to London. I want you to be happy.

Well, he would. If it came to it, he’d take the job. Any job, far from here. He just wanted to do what felt right to himself first. And that meant looking after Amber.

A food-delivery worker was just exiting Bradley’s building, so he slipped inside and headed to Bradley’s floor. To say his piece, once and for all. He wouldn’t leave Hebblestone without making sure that Amber got what she wanted, and this slimeball was nowhere near her.

Striding over to his door, Tyler could hear music playing from inside, and he frowned.

‘Just a minute,’ he heard Bradley say. The music turned down. ‘See babe,’ Bradley said, talking over his shoulder as he opened the door wearing nothing but a black silk robe. ‘Told you they’d bring the spring rolls.’

His stupid blonde face dropped when he looked straight into Tyler’s chest. His head snapped up, a flash of panic plastered on his face. ‘Tyler? I thought you were the delivery guy, sorry.’ He stepped out, shooting a furtive look behind him as he came out into the corridor. ‘I can’t really talk,’ he stammered, trying to shield Tyler’s view inside.

‘Make time,’ Tyler growled. ‘Either you talk to me out here, or I come in and have this conversation with your guest, too.’

Bradley paled further before ducking his head back inside. ‘Won’t be a minute, babe. I’ll be right back.’

The second he closed the apartment door behind him, Tyler slammed him against it.

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