Page 38 of Don't You Want Me, Baby?

Tyler nodded slowly, reaching for the carton in her hands and leading her over to the counter.

‘Yep. She threatened to punch me in the nether regions if I didn’t stop it.’

‘Good old Shazza.’ She nudged his arm playfully with her elbow. He didn’t even move. It was like bumping up against a solid wall. ‘She’ll be a good auntie.’

‘Oh, yeah, sure,’ Tyler scoffed, taking the lid off the blender and pouring the milk in. ‘She’ll teach your kid to neck shots and avoid traffic tickets by flirting.’

Amber laughed, scooping the thin slices of melon in. ‘Hey, don’t knock it. They’re not bad skills to have. Remember that awful stretch of road near the hospital? I once got away with doing forty in a thirty by crying and flashing a bit of cleavage.’ Tyler’s shocked face made her laugh all the harder. ‘Don’t mock, it worked. I got to her bedside in time to hold her hand while she passed, too.’ The silence that fell around them settled like a heavy, scratchy blanket. Thinking of her grandmother in her last moments used to make her sad, but, now, that last interaction was a cherished one. ‘You know, the great Norma Fitzpatrick wasn’t afraid of anything. Even when it was her time, she was still…’ She thought for a moment, trying to find the right word. ‘Happy, I guess. She was almost excited, to see Grandad again. I was always more like her than I was either of my parents. I wanted to be her when I grew up. I still do.’

Tyler’s hand was on her shoulder before she’d finished her sentence. His thumb tracing small, comforting circles on the bareskin above her sleeve cuff. When he caught her watching the movement, he dropped his hand.

‘I suppose there could be worse things than having a fun aunt.’ Tyler’s voice was soft, gentle. ‘I do get why you’re doing it. I’ve thought about it a lot. Actually, I’ve thought of nothing but.’

Amber measured some sloe gin and tipped it in. ‘It’s not because of my grandparents.’

‘I know?—’

‘No, you don’t. You think I’m some sad, lonely woman staring at her thirties and panicking about the future. I’m not doing this because I feel lonely, Tyler. I’m doing it because I want to. I’ve always wanted to: the business, the child of my own. That’s all I’ve wanted for as long as I can remember. And, yeah, when I get to Nana’s age, I want to be like her. To have all that love and happiness around her. To make people happy, and feel like someone’s there. These old pubs are a dying breed. They’re closing all the time. The working men’s clubs are seen as archaic. Old patrons are dying off far faster than new members join. Community used to be something, you know? My nana was at the heart of it. It’s not all just pies and pints.’

She cut off his reply by turning on the blender. He put his hand over hers on the power button. Huffing, she turned it off and side-eyed him.

‘I get it. I do. I know how much you’ve changed this place. The Arms would be fantastic with you there as the owner.’ He smiled. ‘You’d be great at everything, Cherry. I just worry that you’re reacting. After everything. I get it. Believe me. Back in London, when everything happened, I reacted. I upped sticks and left everything. Started again. Closed myself off to a lot of things.’

‘Do you regret it?’ she asked, suddenly fearful that he would go back there. A new job could take him anywhere. ‘Leaving?’

‘Not that, no, but I have other regrets. This whole baby thing, itkind of spun my head around. I just want you to be sure, and not react quickly. Which is pretty hypocritical I guess, coming from me.’

Amber sighed. ‘I am reacting, but not without thought.’ She poured out a shot of grenadine and added it to the mix. ‘I was upset, sure. And angry. At myself. For thinking that a man, and our relationship, was the cornerstone of my life. I am the cornerstone, Ty. Before Bradley, I never needed a man to build my life. I can make things happen on my own. Which is what I should have done in the first place, not hanging by the kitchen sink like some obedient little housewife. I knew what I wanted. I just forgot to keep building. Yes, I was drunk when I went on my little Internet quest, but I don’t regret it. I just actioned things already primed. I haven’t cancelled a thing. I don’t want to.’ She sighed, shaking her head. ‘If I’m honest, the more time I’m not with Bradley, the more I see what I put up with the last six months, and I’m not going back to that. I can do this, and if you can’t accept it?—’

‘I can,’ he butted in. ‘I’m here. Hand me a trowel, I’ll get to work. I want to help you to have your dreams. I never did. I shut everything down, ran off. I guess I’m a little in awe of you, Cherry. Anything you need help with, I’m here. I’m just sorry I didn’t handle things very well. I just had a different plan, I guess.’

‘I know,’ she breathed. He looked so conflicted, like he was rethinking his life. She wanted to know what had hurt him so deeply. Take it away. ‘What did happen, in London? Is that why you don’t want a family?’

His eyes searched hers. ‘Yeah. It was.’ His gaze dropped to her lips. ‘I think you were right, though. It’s a story for another day. In fact…’ He walked over to the phone dock and tapped a few keys on his phone.

The tension popped in the room as he shot her a cheeky grin.

‘What are you doing?’ She laughed.

‘Breaking the tension. I hate it when you get that little frownline on your forehead.’ He bit at his lip, and her eyes followed the motion automatically. ‘No more future talk. Tonight was supposed to be fun.’ The second he docked it in the holder, music began to play. Familiar music. ‘We’re making cocktails for your new place. I think we should make a night of it.’

‘“My Girl”, really?’ Her heart swelled. He looked like he could hold up the world on one shoulder but, man, the guy loved his cheesy pop songs. He also never missed a trick. It made her heart beat faster. Another part of not having Bradley around was this. The part she didn’t expect. The fact that her friend, the gentle giant she totally fancied and always depended on, took her breath away. For a moment, she wished he was the one she was doing all this with. She pushed the thought away. Life was complicated enough. She couldn’t let anything else get in the way. Not now she was so close.

Tyler wagged his finger at her, moving away from the counter with a sway of his hips. ‘It’s your favourite and you know it.’

She groaned, turning on the blender and adding ice. She could hear his laugh even over the motor. He turned up the volume, clicking his fingers as he moved around the kitchen, humming. She watched him, crooning away to the song her grandmother used to dance around her kitchen to. Having him here felt right.Like home.She turned off the blender and poured it into two cocktail glasses. The whole counter was filled with fruit, bottles of different and exotic alcohol, chocolate pieces and maraschino cherries, olives on sticks. Watching the man before her dance around, she knew she was where she wanted to be.

The song ended, and Tyler set it to shuffle. When Roy Orbison’s ‘Only The Lonely’ started up, she squealed.

‘I love this song too!’

‘I know.’ He shrugged, heading over to take one of the glasses. His salty aftershave surrounded her, and she felt that pang all overagain.Your plans don’t involve Tyler. He isn’t up for being some insta baby daddy. He deserves to get a better job. He’s not yours to try to keep, Amber.Don’t drag him any further into your mess.Tyler was looking at her latest creation, a relaxed smile lighting up his face. Utterly unaware that her mind was spinning right next to him. ‘I pay attention to everything you like. It’s important. This looks like sludge by the way. Gin and milk?’

Christ, if he kept saying things like that, she might cave anyway, ask forhissperm. She mentally shook herself, pouring the drink into two glasses.It’s a night with two friends,she reminded herself.Fun.

‘Just try it. What radio station is this?’ A lame question, but she felt the urge to keep talking.

‘Playlist,’ he replied, eyeing the cocktail with a wary gaze. ‘Well, I’m not dying alone. Come on fellow guinea pig, drink up.’

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