Page 67 of Dangerous Devotion

Vince’s eyes flashed dangerously. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. This isn’t about me or my feelings. This is about keeping you alive.”

“And what about what I want?” I challenged, stepping closer to him. “Did it ever occur to you that I might want to stay and help? That we might be stronger as a team?”

“Jemma,” he growled, his patience clearly wearing thin. “This isn’t a game. People are trying to kill us. I can’t focus onfinding out who’s behind this if I’m constantly worried about your safety.”

“So you’d rather just ship me off and forget about me?” I felt tears pricking at my eyes but refused to let them fall. “I thought we were in this together, Vince. You told me we were in this together.”

His expression softened for a moment, but then the mask slipped back into place. “This isn’t about us. It’s about what needs to be done.”

“No.” I shook my head vehemently. “It’s about you being a coward. You’re scared of actually letting someone in, of actually caring about someone. So you’re pushing me away before I can get too close.”

I glared up at Vince, my chest heaving with anger and hurt. But as I met his eyes, I saw something there that made me pause. A storm of emotions swirled in those dark depths—frustration, fear, and something else I couldn’t quite name.

Suddenly, his hands were on my arms, pulling me closer. His grip was firm but not painful, and his voice dropped to a low, intense rumble. “Choose your words very carefully, Punk. I’m barely holding on here, and I can’t guarantee what will happen if you push me any further.”

The raw emotion in his voice caught me off guard. I searched his face, really looked at him for the first time since I’d burst into the room. The lines of tension around his eyes, the tight set of his jaw—he looked as miserable as I was feeling.

My anger deflated like a balloon with a giant hole, replaced by a wave of understanding. “You’re scared,” I whispered, the realization hitting me like a ton of bricks. “You’re not just trying to get rid of me. You’re terrified of losing me.”

Vince’s grip on my arms tightened slightly, and I watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. “Of course, I am,” he admitted, his voice barely audible. “I can’t lose you. Not now, not ever. And if keeping you safe means sending you away, then that’s what I’ll do.”

Tears welled up in my eyes again, but this time, I didn’t try to hold them back. “But don’t you see? I’m terrified of losing you, too. The thought of being sent away, of not knowing if you’re safe…it’s killing me.”

His forehead dropped to rest against mine, and I felt the fight drain out of him. “I don’t know how to do this,” he confessed, his breath warm on my face. “I don’t know how to be what you need and still keep you safe.”

I sighed. “This was all I needed. You showing me how you really feel. Seeing you struggle as much as I do. We’ll get through this, I promise.”

He stared at me as if he’d never seen me, as if he was as dumbfounded as I was about our reversed roles. “I don’t want you to ever pretend with me. Show me how you feel, and I promise I will do the same.”

He smiled even though the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “You already show me how you feel. Right from the start, you were the only woman who showed me every nuance of her disdain for me.”

I smiled. “So you getting angry and pushing me against a wall, or a doorframe, or just towering over me, is that your move to hide whatever you’re truly feeling?”

He narrowed his eyes. “Sometimes, I’m really furious. But I’ve mostly been furious about you challenging me.”

I cupped his cheek. “Well, you’ve got a whole life to adjust to the feeling.”

He nodded, then kissed me. And just like that, at least, this tiny area in our lives was okay again.

CHAPTER TWENTY

When the knock on my office door came, I turned from staring out the window—something I’d done far too much in the past couple of hours—but at least the weather matched my mood. Dark and foggy.

I put down Picca, who somehow found her way into my office and whose presence was the only one I could bear. The knock was the signal that my time of hiding was coming to an end. Way too soon. “Come in.”

The door swung open, and before Hawk even opened his mouth, I knew it was time.

Time for them to leave.

Time for me to send her away.

I sighed and nodded, and he did the same before turning around and leaving me again.

I dragged my fingers through my hair. Why was this so difficult? Why was my throat tightening at the sheer thought of letting her go?

Because I didn’t want to.

Because it felt like I was failing her when all I wanted to do was protect her.

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