“You’re cute when you’re getting all shy and embarrassed,” he said, grabbed my shoulder, turned me around, and pushed me toward a door that probably led to the en-suite bathroom. “I knew the moment I caught you watching me that you were still a virgin.” He suddenly stopped and gripped my shoulder. “Jemma?”
I looked at him over my shoulder, surprised at the sudden change in his voice. He sounded unsure. “Yes?”
“What happened in Italy?”
That’s where his mind went when he thought about my virginity? I sighed. I’d tried so hard to put the kidnapping behind me. To stop thinking about it at any cost. “I was incredibly lucky,” I whispered.
He turned me back around. “I really want to know, Little One. Tell me.” He took my hand, then pulled me toward an armchair, sat down, and pulled me on top of him. “What happened?”
I closed my eyes for a second. “Fee, Sophie, Cara, and I spent the weekend in Verona because Cara was obsessed with Romeo and Juliet.” I smiled at the memory. Cara was the bookworm of the family. Shy, introverted, usually quiet. I’d never seen her as hyped as when we stood under that damn fake balcony.
He nodded. “Verona is a beautiful city.”
I stared at him and suppressed a shiver. The Salvinis were Italian; of course, he would know the country. “I basically blackmailed Cara in order for me to join her on all the dumb touristy things; she agreed to go clubbing with me.”
And I’d pressured not only Cara but had gotten Sophie and Fee to join us, as well. And that’s how we ended up in that club I chose… “I bullied them into going clubbing with me, and that’s where…” My breath hitched. “…Where we were drugged and taken.”
Vince pulled me tighter against him.
“They took our clothes. And then, in that dark room in that basement.” Just thinking about that cold, dark, room; the other naked girls who were held there along with us; the sheer terror I’d felt every time I’d heard footsteps…
I pressed my eyes closed and clenched my fists, pushing the nails of my fingers into my skin, the pain a welcome distraction. I focused on my breathing like I’d learned in therapy. Inhaled, counted the seconds in my head, held my breath, counted, then released my breath, counted again. I repeated the action until the panic that was clawing at my throat subsided enough to open my eyes again.
I met Vince’s gaze, his dark eyes filled with concern and something else…anger? No, fury. His jaw was clenched, a muscle ticking at its edge, and the veins on the side of his neck were clearly visible.
“Jemma,” he said, his voice low and controlled. “You don’t have to continue if it’s too painful.”
I shook my head. “No, I…I can talk about it.” I took a deep breath, steeling myself. “We were there for three days. They…made it a game as to who to pick, and whenever they picked Cara or me,” I continued, my voice barely above a whisper, “Sophie or Fee volunteered to take our place.” I stared down at the hands in my lap because I couldn’t look at him. Couldn’t face him looking at me. The pain in the back of my throat was almost too much.
And he wasn’t wrong. “I wouldn’t have remained a virgin if it wasn’t for them.”
Fee and Sophie were protecting me when I was the one who caused the whole mess in the first place. I was the one responsible, and yet they sacrificed themselves for me. And me? I just stood there, completely scared and frozen, and let them.
How could I ever pay them back? And why was everyone I loved getting hurt because of me? I was a true curse to the people in my life.
Vince lifted my face with his finger under my chin. “It wasn’t your fault,” he said firmly. “You hear me? None of it was your fault.”
I opened my eyes and met his intense gaze. “But if I hadn’t insisted on going to that club?—”
“No,” Vince cut me off. “You couldn’t have known. Don’t blame yourself for what those monsters did.”
I nodded. Rationally, I knew he was right, and I was really grateful for his words. But how could I believe it when it was the same story over and over again? I could’ve saved my mother, and yet I couldn’t, and she died. I could’ve chosen a different club, or we could’ve just stayed in our hotel and spent a fun evening there.
And because of me, we didn’t.
A tremor ran through my body, and Vince’s arms tightened around me. Would it be the same with him?
Would he get hurt—even worse than he already had—because of me?
Because I loved him? Because of something I did? What if I was the target of that attack on the roof? What if they’d come because of me?
“And that’s where Gabe and Sophie met?”
I let out a shaky laugh, shook my head, and focused back on our conversation.
Running through what-ifs in my head wouldn’t help one bit. I needed to tell him and Hawk, but first, I needed to tell Iset, so she could prepare herself because Vince would not be happy.
“Jemma?”