Page 35 of How to Keep a Fae

He made a promise to her. Swore he loved her. He made a promise to me, too. I don’t care if his fists feel like a boulder smacking into your jaw. I’ll beat the bastard bloody if he does anything to upset the sweet fae in my arms while he’s gone.

I stride over to the nest and sit down on the edge with her still clinging to me like a little monkey. I stroke her hair and purr. Eventually, with a bit of coaxing, she lifts her head.

“Why aren’t you with him?” Her bottom lip quivers. She’s lost a little weight, likely due to her heat.

I can’t think about that now at the risk of completely losing it…. But thoughts of her all alone, hurting, needing us—just fucking no.

“Well, it’s not for the likes of me to know where he goes and with who.”

“You’re a warrior too,” she says. “Why do you make yourself sound less?”

A derisive grunt escapes me. “I’m an orphan rat taken from the streets of Bleakness. August is a fae whose father is—” I shut up. She doesn’t need to hear more about how worthless I am, and it’s not my place to tell her August’s story, either. “Alive, and that’s more than mine.”

The last part sounds lame, and I’m almost glad she’s too upset to unpick it.

“I didn’t know,” she says. “About your situation. A lot of alpha warriors are brought here from other worlds. I’ve heard about Bleakness and the slave markets there. I’m glad that they found you and brought you here. I’m glad it’s you holding me now. That another terrible fate did not claim you.”

Her words trigger a crushing sensation. I don’t like people feeling sorry for me, nor pity of any kind. I like to focus on the present, not linger in the past. I hide behind humor because that’s better than giving in to the specters of my past. But she’s glad I’m the one holding her when no one else was ever glad about anything I’ve ever done. I have a job here, the reason why they feed me and kit me out with quality armor, but no one thanks me for it. No one is glad I am here. Until Adaline, I doubt anyone would have missed me should I have fallen in battle. Just another soldier, one of many. Sure, there are a few who would have supped a beer to my memory. Maybe even spoken fondly, or not so fondly about me, from time to time.

Adaline gives a fuck.

Because of her, August probably does too.

Once more, this woman can disarm me with nothing but words.

And I’m glad they found me too because even as much as this hurts and I feel fucking useless, I want to be here holding her, too.

“Who took him? Do you know how long they’ll be away?”

“I don’t know the details. I’m sorry.” It’s only a small white lie. And besides, August can explain his illustrious lineage… When he gets back. If… No, I am not going there either, but imperial quests are not without risks, even for someone as competent as August.

She begins sobbing again. I hold her feeling fucking useless.

I stormed over to Cecil after the practice the day August left, opened my big mouth, and demanded to know what was going on.

Cecil gave me a flat look. A couple of guards had been standing close by with their clubs at the ready like I was a damn whelp who needed a beating back into his place. But he’d waved me into his office and told the guard to close the door. Then he told me fuck all, because apparently, he didn’t know anything either besides this being at the imperial’s request and no business of ours.

“The imperial is his father,”I had demanded of him. I had no reason to disbelieve August, but I needed someone else to confirm it before it would sink in.

Cecil had inclined his head.“He is. The Imperial did not deign to share the length of the quest with me nor what it might entail.”

The ancient warrior master could be a hard bastard at times. But after what he did for us and Adaline, I saw him in a new light. He wasn’t simply the crusty old goat whipping us all into shape. He was an advocate within the bounds of what he could control.

I thought he was on our side—was grateful for it.

“What about Adaline?”I’d asked the final burning question.

“She will be allocated to you, as agreed.”

All the while I was out on the week-long patrol, I convinced myself August would be back, that his bastard father would only need him for a few days.

Only he wasn’t back.

And now I’m floundering.

Drowning in her heartbreak. Me, a fucking nobody from the streets of Bleakness. What do I know about dealing with emotions? If I had parents, they were probably lowlife scum orhelpless victims of disease or poverty. Either way, they were gone before they could offer me any life insight, good or bad.

I’m not equipped for a broken fae feeder missing a man she loves.

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