Page 45 of All My Broken Pieces

I smile at her, my heart beating wildly as I enjoy this moment. Having her back in my life once more. And despite everything else happening, I find I’m happier than I have been in a long time.

I stifle the noise that threatens to escape at the sight of Hudson.

His dirty blonde hair, closer to a light brown than blonde, is a disheveled mess on top of his head. His face is covered in bruises and cuts, most of which still look painful despite the worst of them being covered in gauze and bandaging. His left arm is covered in a cast along with his left leg.

The part that looks the worst isn’t the physical injuries, it’s the emptiness in his pale blue eyes. Like his soul has checked out and left behind the empty shell of a man before me.

My mom is sitting in a chair beside his bed, chirping on about some gossip. She’s so wrapped up in her story she doesn’t notice our entrance.

Ignoring her, I walk up to Hudson, taking his unwrapped hand in mine. “Hey.” I whisper, waiting for him to turn to me. My smile strains at the unfocused look in his eyes.

“Hey.” He mumbles, his voice hoarse from the anesthesia.

My eyes tighten at the sound. Noticing a sheen of sweat on his forehead, I look around for something to dab it away. Coming up with nothing, I pull down the sleeve of my shirt, holding the fabric in my fist as I dab my wrist on his skin. “Havethey given you anything for it?” I ask, leaning forward to whisper the question in his ear.

Hudson shakes his head, his face cringing at the movement. “No, they tried, but…” His eyes shift to where our mom and Arriana are having a hushed conversation in the corner of the room. My chest aches at the realization Arriana did that for me, she pulled my mom away so I could have this moment with my brother.

Shifting his focus back to me, Hudson lowers his voice further as he continues, “Mom threw a fit about it when the nurse tried, and she just won’tleave.”

My teeth grind. How dare this woman continue to cause pain to her own children, all because of some archaic beliefs. “You’re an adult now.” I remind him, my heart breaking at his flinch from my words. “She can’t make choices for you anymore.”

He shakes his head, a haunted look on his face. “That’s just it. Iknowthat, but I can’t…” His voice trails off.

My heart spasms, knowing what he means without him having to voice the words. Turning my attention to the two women in room, I call out, “Hey, Arriana?” She looks at me curiously. “I’m kind of hungry, would you be able to get us some food?” I look pointedly between her, my mom, and the door, hoping she’ll get the hint.

And she does. Because that’s how she is.

“Of course, b-” Catching herself, she clears her throat. “Fallon.” Turning her attention toward my mother, Arriana offers a blinding smile. “Would you care to join me…?” Her sentence hangs, an invitation for my mom to offer her name.

“Penelope. But call me Mrs. Huxley.” My mom replies, watching Arriana with barely concealed suspicion.

“Of course, Mrs. Huxley.” Arriana gestures toward the door, not missing a beat. “Would you join me?”

My mom looks over at us, her forehead creasing. “I don’t know. I probably shouldn’t leave Hudson…”

“It’s okay, Mom.” I cut in. “I’ll be here with him.”

She narrows her eyes before sighing. “Okay. I could use a break from this place anyway.” Her nose ticks up as she looks around the hospital room. As they leave the atmosphere physically changes with the woman, who gave birth to us but could never be classified as motherly outside of that fact, exiting the room.

Turning my attention back to Hudson, I look around until I locate the call button. Giving it a couple minutes to ensure they’re gone, I push the button and wait. A few moments later a tired voice filters through the speaker. “Everything okay in there?” The nurse asks, an anxious edge to her tone no doubt due to my lovely mother.

“Hi, yes. Well, no. Can we get some of the meds to help my brother with his come down?” I ask, keeping an eye on him. His eyes tighten but he doesn’t otherwise react, staring off into the distance again.

The nurse’s voice comes through again, softer this time. “Let me talk to the doctor.”

I press the button once more. “Thank you. And, if you could hurry before…” I trail off, not wanting to air our dirty laundry for the hospital staff but not sure what else to say.

Her quiet laugh sounds through the speaker, “Yes. I know exactly what you mean. I’ll put a rush order on the request.”

A smile spreads on my face at the response, grateful to havesomeonein our corner. Looking back at Hudson, my grin fades, worry bleeding through at his continued checked out state. “Hud?” I say softly, brushing his hair back from his face. He rolls his eyes in my direction but doesn’t respond otherwise. “Are you okay?” I don’t know how else to ask the burning questions inside of me.

Why he got on that bike? What’s going on in his life that he still feels the need to destroy his body with the harmful chemicals? Why he had reached out? Why he looks so goddamnempty?

He blinks at me and sighs. “No, Cher, I don’t think I am.”

My breath catches at the nickname. One we haven’t used in years. “Do you wanna talk about it, Egg?” Hudson’s lips tick up at his nickname.

Cher for cherries. Egg for eggplant. It was a silly little secret we shared before things went sideways, the nicknames a reflection of our preferences. Before they sent him away and he came back a shell of who he was before.

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