Page 38 of All My Broken Pieces

I send up a silent prayer to a god that doesn’t care about people like us. About those who don’t fall into his perfect little cookie cutter human mold. But even still, my agonized pleas rise to the heavens, desperate they’ll be heard.

Please.

Hours pass and no one says a word. The only time we speak is when the nurse comes out to provide updates on Hudson’s condition.

A police officer stopped by at one point to discuss the accident, only serving to fuel my frustration with this godforsaken world as he all but painted my brother as the run-of-the-mill junkie.

Asshole knows nothing.

I had to bite my lip to keep from lashing out at the beat cop for just doing his job.

I hardly recognize myself anymore, the revelations of the last 24 hours hitting me hard amongst the emotional turmoil I find myself in. Pushing back up to my feet, I stumble toward the restroom. I can sense Arriana following behind me and can feel the stares of my family boring into my back. With a shake of my head, I realize I don’t care. It doesn’t matter what they must be thinking, it doesn’t matter what they’ll say to me the next time we’re alone.

Fuck them.

Why did I care for so long what they thought?

Pushing open the door, I make a beeline for the sinks, splashing cold water onto my face. Arriana rubs soothing circles on my back as I collapse against the counter. Burying my face in my hands, I sob. The sound of my cries echoing in the tiled room accompanied by the running water.

Arriana doesn’t say anything, doesn’t offer me empty words of comfort. Instead, she stays with me, not leaving my side as I break apart.

Gripping the counter, I peer at my reflection in the mirror. Noting my bloodshot eyes, disheveled hair, and blotchy cheeks. I look such a mess, and I can’t bring myself to care.

“Why?” I whisper to no one in particular, staring into my blank eyes.

“I don’t know, baby.” Arriana murmurs, stroking her hand down my hair.

I nod my head, because of course. Who the fuck knows why anything happens.

My mind wanders to the books I love so much, remembering the trauma and tragedy my favorite characters had to go through to get their happily ever afters.

A watery laugh slips from my lips as I can’t help but wishthiswas a book, that I could somehow know that I was destined for my happily ever after. My mind drifts to my brother once more.

That we both are.

But I push aside the thought, because this isn’t a story, it isn’t just words on a page, and in life you’re not guaranteed happiness.

My chest spasms as I stumble away from the counter and toward one of the stalls.

Maybe life will be kind, maybe it will imitate art.

Maybe, just maybe, we’ll all make it out happy in the end.

Chapter 16

Arriana

Stretching, I suppress a groan as I lean to whisper in Fallon’s ear. “I’m going to get some coffee, I’ll be right back.” She nods wordlessly in response.

It’s been hours since her breakdown in the bathroom and she hasn’t said a word since, just stared off into the corner. I’m trying to be patient, but the waiting is making me restless. Not that I know her brother well, or at all. But I can see the effect all of this is having on her, and it’s driving me crazy not to be able to do something,anythingto help.

Ignoring the glares being sent my way by her family, I walk to the other side of the lobby toward the several vending machineslining the wall. Making my way over to one that dispenses the good bean juice, I put in some change and wait for the machine to give me the much needed caffeine.

I watch the dark liquid pour into the paper cup, the tension in the air nearly suffocating. I can hear whispered conversations happening behind me and I can’t hold back the memories the sound brings to the surface.

“I heard she was expelled from her last school because she was selling drugs. Like father, like daughter.”

The whispered snickers reach me as I try to hide behind my metal locker, hoping if they don’t notice that I’ve heard them, they’ll just move on.

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