Page 20 of Lost in Life

My breaths come in heavy pants as I grow closer to my revenge.

“Mommy, what’s he doing?”

I freeze at the quiet voice, my heart pounding.

“Shh dear.”

Looking over my shoulder, I meet the gaze of the young girl just before her mom pulls her away. Something in her doe-like eyes gives me pause.

I glance down at the needles grasped in my hand and suddenly feel sick. The earlier need for blood leaves me as I think of what I almost subjected that woman and her child to. What I almost subjected everyone in this store to.

I drop the needles like they’ve burned me. The clang of metal hitting the ground sounds as I turn and leave, vowing to still seek my revenge, but in a way that won’t risk collateral damage.

Distant sirens sound, pulling me from the memory as I make my way back to my car and wonder why the fuck I threw away my opportunity for revenge for some nameless boy.

Chapter 10

West

“He-hey man.” The scrawny man before me mutters, scratching his jaw and shifting his eyes around.

I suppress the guilt trying to take over as I look at the kid who can’t be much younger than me. A sheen of sweat forms on his forehead, his eyes glassy from repeated drug use, his reddish brown hair greasy from lack of proper hygiene. A shiver runs down his spine as he shuffles on his feet.

“Hey.” I reply, crossing my arms and leaning back against the chain link fence behind me. I don’t say anything else. While it may appear obvious that the kid is here to purchase product, I’m not getting busted for something stupid like making assumptions.

He moves his eyes back to me, his brows furrowing. “You gonna give it to me or what?”

I raise an eyebrow, subtly tapping my fingers on my forearm to settle the anxiety brewing within me.

“Dude, I’m not a cop.” He sighs, exasperated as he begs me, “Please, I just-I need it man. I can’tfeelanymore. You know? It’s all, it’s all too much.”

I do know.

I don’t voice the thought out loud, but I get it. There have been times I’ve been tempted to numb the pain with something harder than weed and liquor, but my mom’s voice always stops me.

"That’s not you, baby."

Shaking off the reminder, I suck my teeth at him. “I don’t know…”

“Oh comeon!” His voice doesn’t carry far, but the tone conveys his frustration. “The fuck do you need me to do? Suck your dick?”

My eyes widen, flicking to his lips and back.

Nope. I don’t want that. Absolutely not.

Even still, my cock has other ideas as it twitches at the offer. Shaking my head, I push off the fence, grumbling, “No, don’t be stupid. Do you have the money?”

The rest of the exchange is uneventful and I’m grateful it’s over by the time I’m flinging my leg over the seat of my motorcycle.

My mind keeps replaying his offer, an annoying buzzing that fills me with anger.

I don’t want some man’s mouth on my dick. I want…

Kicking my ride into gear, I speed off down the street.

Time to find them.

Nova

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