Page 68 of When The Rain Falls

He’s panting, too. His strong chest clamoring for oxygen at each inhale. I want to push him. To the edge. I want to hear him groan again.

I bring my hand to my breast and tease it. My nipples are swollen, peaked, and wet from where he teased them with his mouth. I'm so turned on. So desperate for him.

Why did he stop touching me?

“That’s as far as we go,” Finn says softly, his head falling as his gaze shifts to the floor behind me.

Why did he stop looking at me?

He smooths my shirt back down over my chest.

As far as we go? What does that mean? I’ve been slowly filling with desire for him all day. And he all but worked me to the point of no return. The way he held my hand. The way hekissedme. The way hedemandedthat I say his name. It feels like there’s a bird trying to take flight against my chest. So, why are westopping? I’ve been with plenty of men. And it’s never ended like this.

Then I remember his trembling hand from last night. Maybe he’s worried about something. "What are you afraid of?" I ask, studying the way his face is growing dark. His breath falls against my skin in waves.

“That you’re going to start something that I can’t finish,” he mumbles as he pushes me off his lap and stands up.

I’m about to question that statement when the sound of feet thumping on the stairs interrupts my thoughts. I grab my bra off the floor and quickly adjust my sweater, holding it closed across my chest.

Finn walks quickly into the kitchen, putting distance between us and running a hand through his hair. He paces back and forth a couple steps. He walks to the counter, looks across the surface, then turns on his heel and walks some more.

Footsteps draw nearer until Vivian enters the kitchen. "Hey," Finn says casually to her.

"I can't find my charger," Vivian whines. Finn moves a stack of mail, grabs a charger, and tosses it in the air towards her.

"Thanks," she says, catching it. " She spins on her heels and marches down the hallway with just as much vigor as she entered.

I stand from the couch and take a step towards the kitchen. Finn turns his back to me and tousles his hair again.

"Hey," I say, testing the waters.

“It's late." His tone suggests that the conversation is over. He grabs a box of pizza off the counter and shoves it into the fridge. I notice that his hand is trembling again. Like it did the other day. "I'm going to bed. I can send Julie home in a bit."

He closes the fridge and walks down the hallway. Leaving me standing alone and confused in his kitchen.

23MR. FINN

FINN

It's chilly,even for December. I hold the edges of Nicole's peacoat tightly closed around her, protecting her from the harsh air. We're standing in my driveway. We just had a quiet dinner downtown. Everything was perfectly nice. The food. The ambiance. The conversation. Nicole was perfectly nice. She's beautiful and smart. I met her through work. We had a case together, representing opposing clients who had gotten mixed up in a business deal gone bad. Our interactions had been unusually cordial. We both must have recognized the mutual attraction. After the case settled, at Rebecca's urging, I asked her out. We've been dating for two months now.

I had been cautious about the relationship at first. It was the first time I felt ready to be with someone again. I kept comparing Nicole to Laurel. It took me a while to get over the fact that no one will come close to Laurel and I just need to accept that things are different. But I do really like Nicole. We always have something to talk about between work and trial stories. And what we have is routine and comfortable. She's a good kisser. She gives me space whenever my mind goes someplace dark. She's only met the kids a couple times, in passing. But I'm thinking of inviting her over for a familydinner. And tonight, I'm thinking of taking things to the next level.

"Want to come in?" I throw a thumb over my shoulder at the front door. I’ll pay the babysitter and you can stay a bit."

"Sure." She shivers under her coat. "I'd like that."

I pay the sitter and watch from the front window to make sure she gets to her car safely. Nicole hangs her coat on our coat rack, between a pink puffy jacket with kittens on it and a simple blue striped one. I kick the pile of kids' shoes that's collected by the door to make a path for us to walk through.

"Sorry about the mess. I think their shoes have a plot to take over the house. Like Toy Story. But it's sneakers and slides.

"It's fine. I get it." Nicole laughs. But she doesn't get it. I know she doesn't get it. She lives alone, in her pristine downtown condo where not a plant leaf is out of plant. She has no clue.

"Want something to drink?"

"Actually, I was thinking of something else," she says. She leans into me and presses her lips to mine. I gather my hands at her waist.

"In that case, we can just go upstairs," I suggest.

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