Page 125 of When The Rain Falls

I roll onto my back and stare up at the blue sky. I soak up the rays warming my face. I breathe the dust in the air. And I try to ignore the feeling of sadness threatening to creep back in. I reach for the race medal around my neck. I smooth it between my fingers, hoping it will trigger another wave of pride. But now, it only feels heavy in my hand.

I try not to think about him. But I do.

The last time I saw him, I decided I was done. I chose myself because I thought I was too weak to handle his storms. I was too weak to be constantly tossed about by his heart. Always wondering. Always questioning. But now I know that isn’t true. I wasn’t weak at all.

I was strong.

I was strong for walking away.

Standing up for myself meant walking away from the only person who ever made me feel like I belonged somewhere. So,did I really win anything? Why does winning sometimes feel like losing?

But also, I didn’t want to make him choose between us. Maybe you only truly love once. And if that’s the case, then there will never be space for me in his heart. Not when it’s so full of her. And maybe I’mafraidto make him choose. Because what if he doesn’t choose me?

And what if he does? And what if he regrets it? I know, first hand, what it’s like to give yourself away when you’re not ready for the consequences that might follow. That’s what I’ve done my whole life. I don’t want him to feel the same pain. I don’t want him to choose me over her and then regret what he lost.

I try to ease the ache in my heart. The ache I feel over wanting to give him everything. But not being able to. I blink back the tears. I study the clouds and try to think of something that will stop the way my heart feels like it’s caving in.

A commotion in the parking lot pulls me back to reality. I ease myself up and wrap my arms around my leg as my head swivels towards the sound of a honking horn. There’s also the sound of a car door slamming and people shouting. My eyebrows pull together in confusion as I try to make sense of what’s happening. My attention is drawn towards a crowd of people just as that crowd is parted by a figure barreling forward, a duffel bag over his shoulder. My chest seizes instantly. Because I recognize that figure. I recognize the broad shoulders and the handsome face.

He’s here?

He came for me?

My throat threatens to close in on itself as I swallow my surprise. Goosebumps spread across my skin even as my body warms all over. Both my palms hit the ground as I push myself up.

“Aimee!” Finn shouts as he scans his surroundings, taking in the groups of runners.

“Finn!” I yell back as I scramble to my feet. “I’m here!” He seeks me out and when his eyes land on mine, his face cracks into a wide grin. He drops his duffel bag and runs straight toward me. But I’m already running tohim.

When we meet, we instantly make impact. I slam into his chest as his arms curl around me. His face buries its way into my neck. My tears fall against his chest, soaking his shirt. The tips of my eyelashes fluttering against his body. Holding him never felt so good.

I squeeze him tightly and he squeezes back. I’m struggling to breathe. But who needs air? Who needs air when they have a hug likethis.

“You did it, baby,” he whispers into my neck. “I knew you would. I’m sorry I’m late. I got here as fast as I could.” My breathing feels ragged now. I let his voice wash over me like a warm wave as tears fill my throat.

“You’re here,” I manage to croak out, enjoying the way his arms are holding me. “That’s all that matters.”

“No, that’s not all that matters,” he protests. “What matters is that you listen to me. What matters is what I’m about to tell you, baby.” He pulls back, just far enough so I can tip my face up to him. My eyes rest on his. They’re not just stormy grey. They’re also red. And his shortly-cropped hair is unruly. And there’s several days of stubble on his jaw. And butterfly bandages are holding a cut closed across his forehead. Before I can ask about his appearance, he continues.

“I shouldn’t have let you leave,” he begins.

“Finn, I didn’t want to. But Ihadto leave,” I cut him off. “Because I didn’t want you to choose between us. You’re not ready. You need more time. You love her. And I can’t ask you to give her up for me.”

As tears pour down my cheek, Finn uses the rough pad of his thumb to brush them away. “Aimee,” he hushes me. “I’m sorry. Sorry that I made you believe it was either her or you.” Finn tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and kisses my forehead.

“The other day,” his voice cracks, “What you saw.” He pauses and shakes his head. “I’m so sorry for what you saw. I was trying to tell her goodbye. And it was so fucking hard. But, Aimee, I don’t need more time. I don’t want more time. I only want you, darling.” Finn’s hands cradle my head against his chest. I’m filled with the comforting sound of his heart beating. “So often now, you’re the only thing I see. It scared me. I spent so long believing I couldn’t love again that I never let myself imagine what might happen if I did. I closed my heart off to love. I practically closed it off to life. It took you, Aimee. Bold, bright, and strong, to bring me back. You ripped the Band-Aid off so quickly that you took all my scar tissue with it.”

He’s half-chuckling now and I can feel his chest vibrating against my cheek before he drops a kiss in my hair. “And you’re right, Aimee. I wasn’t ready. I don’t think I’d ever have been ready. Not for the way my soul aches for you. Not for the way you changed everything in my life.”

I open my mouth to respond, as his words warm me from the inside out, but the words don’t stop pouring out of him.

“Aimee, you’re unrivaled in this world. You laugh at the dark and you dance in the rain. It’s fucking insane and I love it. Who on earth would ever be ready for you?” His eyes water as he chuckles. “But you were everything that I needed. And you’re all I fucking want.”

A breeze blows across the parking lot. It flutters his shirt, it whips at my shorts. I shiver as I bury myself closer to him.

“But Laurel,” I protest. “She was perfect for you and I don’t want to?—”

“I love her,” he says quickly. “And I’ll always love her. Shewasperfect for me. But that was then. You’re perfect for me now. And, fuck. I’m the luckiest man on Earth, Aimee. Because who finds perfection twice in a lifetime?”

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