Page 101 of When The Rain Falls

“Make me,” I tease him, clearly acting all twenty-seven years of my age. Finn blows out a quick, warm laugh into my hair.

“That’s how old I was when Ruby was born,” he says, almost wistfully, like he’s reaching for a memory. “Sorry, I should probably keep my trips down memory lane solo-ventures,” he adds quickly.

“No,” I correct him. “It’s ok. That’s all part of you.” I look up at him and from my spot nestled up under his arm, I cansee his thick neck, strong jaw, and long eyelashes. “It’s hard to imagine, though,” I add. “That at my age, you had a career, and a marriage, and a child. Probably a mortgage.” I look away from him now, trying to hide the edge of sadness threatening to push in. “And a favorite spatula,” I give a hollow laugh.

“Aimee.” His voice is soft. “That’s your fake laugh. I don’t like your fake laugh,” he continues. “What is it, darling? What’s going on in that pretty little head?” How does he see through me every time? Through my attempt to always brush the heaviness away?

“I just feel like I’m so far behind.” I absentmindedly slip my hand under his shirt and trace squiggles along his skin. “It’s like years of partying have set me back. I should have been living. Like, really living. And not just doing keg stands and trying to see how many free drinks I could get. At my age, you had so much compared to me.”

“You might not have what I had. But you have other things.”

“SureI do,” I humor him. The thickness in my throat squeezes my voice into a whisper.

“Speaking of laughs,” Finn offers, “yours is the most obnoxious one I’ve ever heard. But don’t worry, I kinda love it. I didn’t know a human could make so many animal sounds.” I can hear the smile in his voice. And that invisible smile makes me feel a little bit warmer. “Let’s see. You have sass. You have curiosity. You told me yourself it was your best feature. You have kindness. Gentleness.”

“I am neither kind nor gentle,” I snort with a laugh.

“You are with me,” he says solemnly. “And you don’t take yourself too seriously.” I snort again because Alicia would probably say that’s the source of all my problems. “And you see things other people can’t.”

“Like what?”

“Like whatever the fuck it is that you see in me.” I feel his fingers caress the curve of my waist. The swing continues to sway gently beneath us. The orange light on the house turns a chilly blue as darkness sets in. And pressed against Finn and his warm body, with his sweet words still in my ear, I feel shielded from it.

“I don’t see anything that isn’t there,” I assure him.

“And,” he adds. “Maybe you also have…something else.”

“What?” My eyes search his face.

Finn plants two feet on the ground and stops the gentle swaying of the swing. “I'll be right back.” He pulls away from me and wraps his end of the blanket around my shoulder. He disappears into the sliding door only to reappear half a minute later, a stack of papers in his hand.

He sits down next to me, leaning into the back of the swing and slinking comfortably against me. “For you,” he says, as he hands me the stack of papers. I take them and flip through the pages quickly. There are several pages of small block text.

"Is this a sex contract?" I ask suspiciously.

Finn's entire body begins to rock from the inside out as a warm chuckle passes over his body. And I will never get used to the way that sound fills me up.

"No," he finally hisses out of a wide grin. “They’re articles of incorporation," he explains as he flips back to the first page. He weaves his arm behind my neck again and his thumb flicks across my shoulder.

"Ok…" I say, trying to summon gratitude that I don’t feel. I have no idea what any of this means.

"For your own company." My eyebrows wrinkle together as I find his face. His eyes catch a beam of light from the kitchen window. It softens his grey irises, painting them the color of the sky during a light drizzle.

"There are still some blanks. I'll walk you through it all to get your input before we finalize everything. Assuming you'd want to do it."

"Want to do what? What company? I don’t understand.”

"Go out on your own. You mentioned it was intimidating and overwhelming. It’s not really that hard. I'll help you. I'd recommend an LLC to start. You can freelance and be your own boss. I can introduce you to my accountant if you'd like. Whatever you need."

I don’t answer right away. I can’t. My brain is not capable of forming an intelligent response. It’s too busy swirling with the overwhelming realization that he thinks I can do something as important as run my own business.

"So? What do you think?" He raises my hand and presses his lips to my knuckles. The contact feels like it could send my heart floating into the atmosphere.

"I think…This is…Thank you," I choke out. Because now I’m able to focus on the gift itself. My own company? Could I really do it? Could I actually pull my shit together enough to follow through on something? I fight back the prickle of emotion teasing my eyes.

“Aimee?”

“Hmmmm?” I ask, staring dumbly at the papers in my hand. Papers that have my name listed as the sole member of an unnamed company.My name.

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