Page 46 of Don't Let Go

I studied Julia Stiles’ character for a couple of moments. She and Heath Ledger’s character were playing paintball on the TV screen.

I dipped my piece of pancake in a pool of syrup. “Why?”

Carmen swallowed her bite. “Because you’re both lame. You need someone like Patrick to take that stick out of your ass. Paolo isn’t doing you any favors. If anything, he’s making you worse.”

I snorted, completely offended. “I’m sorry you see it that way.” I stood, taking my plate into the kitchen, and grabbed my phone to call Lorenzo. He answered on the second ring.

“Hey, what’s up?”

I leaned against the kitchen sink, looking at the family drawing Lizzy drew and stuck on the fridge. It had all five of us kids and Mamma. I looked at the ground before another wave of sorrow kicked in. “Nothing. Just checking in. Anything to report?”

“Not really. Mamma is busy helping Cindi with a project. We had to help clean up a mess from a poker game gone wrong, but it wasn’t anything too bad. That’s how slow it’s been.”

I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me. “Okay. I’m glad nothing crazy has happened.”

“What’s wrong? You don’t sound like yourself.”

I sighed. “Just thinking of Papà. It’s been two years since he died.”

Lorenzo gave a low whistle. “I forgot that was today.” Something made a loud thumping sound. “Hey, Franco! Did you know Papà has been gone for two years? Crazy, right?” he shouted at Franco, who I had imagined was on the other side ofthe room. There was a pause as he replied, but I couldn’t make it out.

“I can’t believe we both forgot about Papà.” He paused; a crunching sound came over the phone as if he was eating chips. “How are you doing? I know it hits you and Mamma hard.”

I didn’t know what was worse: the memories of my papà flooding in or that no one else seemed to give a rat’s ass he’s been gone for two years.

“The usual depression has sunk in,” I said softly.

There was noise in the background. “Hey, I gotta go. We’ll light a candle in his honor tonight. Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay. Talk to you later.”

I hung up before he said goodbye. Out of all of us kids, I stood alone in missing our papà. I was the only one who witnessed him die, but I thought the others would miss him, too. They must’ve figured out a way to compartmentalize his death into their brain so it wasn’t so hard for them. Part of me wished I could, but then, who would I be if I didn’t miss him?

I bumped into Tyler in the hallway. His eyes were only half open, and his hair stuck up in all directions. He opened his mouth to say something, but I brushed past him. I couldn’t talk right now. I needed to find someone who knew my papà. Someone I could vent to.

I lay on my bed and was about to call Chloe when my phone rang. A picture of Paolo flashed across my screen.

A groan escaped out of my lips as I hit answer. “Hello?”

“Hey! You want to go on an adventure?” His cocky grin could be heard across the line.

I raised an eyebrow. “What kind of adventure?”

“You know, the dangerous kind. It will be fun.”

I thought for a few heartbeats.

“Come on, Rory. You know you wanna ride shotgun with me.” Paolo was being playful, almost like how he was when we first started dating.

“Fine, but if we end up in a car chase, I’m saying I was kidnapped.”

He laughed. “That’s cool. Can you be ready in twenty?”

I chewed on my bottom lip, looking down at my shirt and shorts. They didn’t even match. “Make that twenty-five.”

“Okay. I’ll see you soon.”

Maybe Paolo wouldn’t be bad company. God, if I needed a good boyfriend, it would be today.

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