Page 23 of Burning Truths

I don’t know what I’m asking. I’d never beg for him to enter me. My skin burns with the image of him over me. Those blue eyes leering over my body. Yet, those two words fall from my mouth like a sin. He stills. No one breathes. Neither of us move.

Again.

“Touch me.” I say again, louder.

This time there is no missing my words. He doesn’t wait for me to scream no, or back out, his hands are on me and his body over me before I can blink back the tears. Bile works its way up my throat, yet I lay there and let his hands skate across my skin. My legs lock together for a second before falling open for his touch. The numbness starts at my toes and slowly works its way to my chest. With each pass of his fingers over my underwear I float higher. I’m no longer in my body. Numb and cold cloak my skin. His fingers slip under my thong. I’m hovering over the bed watching the way his wild eyes take in my flush skin.

Finally.

Lilies.

The field flashes in my mind like an old movie. The bed, Hank, his touch. Lilies, fire, smoke.

Flames engulf the field. Lilies and embers combust into ash. Hank pushes a finger inside me. I’m cold, yet hot and nothing all at once. My vision blurs. The tears are falling, but all I see is orange and grey and smoke. The smell of grass burning. Hank and the bed flash back into view. The way he feels inside me makes my skin itch. I want to claw at the flesh covering my bones. I did this. I gave him this. I set the field on fire. I’m searching for the lilies, but they’re nothing but ash and embers now.

“Unravel for me, Princessa.”

Let go.

Acid seeps into my mouth. Disgust cloaks my sweat covered skin. Need courses through me mixing with confusion. His fingers plunge deeper. Over and over. In and out. Curling and twisting. My legs stiffen while my body betrays everything I am. He pulls me deeper and deeper into the abyss.

I want to scream. To beg him to stop. To shove him away, but I asked for this. I gave him what was left of me. This is my doing.

You’ve earned this. We are the monster of their making.

His thumb presses against my clit. My knees bend pressing away from him or climbing closer. I crave the release and the way he uses my body against me and my thoughts clash together in a raging war with my heart.

Yes. Release us from our cage.

Fire and ice fill me. My vision was lost to the tears flowing from my eyes. Blue and brown eyes fight above me.

My body shakes, trembles, vibrating with the climbing flames. Hatred and fire. Numb coldness floods my veins. His breathing mixes with the roar of the fire. Until the only thing left in the field is my soul and the ash of our flowers.

I couldn’t find you. I only found the ruins of who I was.

Chapter Twelve

RYKER

“I might be able to find something if you’d back the fuck up.”

Oakley laughs at Haven, Havoc's little sister, from where she’s seated on the couch. There’s far too many people in our apartment. The crowded space makes me want to claw at my skin but they want the same thing I do. To find my girl.

“Easy, kitten. You can put the claws away, I'm just trying to help.” West huffs.

He’s not used to women putting him in his place or speaking to him without sounding like she’s in heat. The poor bastard’s been knocked down a peg. Haven sits at the desk in the corner but my gaze refuses to move from the window. The desk and laptop belonging to Cole has my chest aching.

“Can you track an I.P address? Hmm? Can you hack cameras and security codes?” she snarks.

Looking over my shoulder towards her brother, Havoc, I get a glimpse of his eyes rolling. Havoc sits in the spot next to Oakley on the couch looking out of place with the blue haired badass on his arm. The biker rolls his helmet on his knee waiting for a reason to jump to his feet and escape the bickering from behind him. The only one missing from the heard of freaks is Ally and that’s because she’s chosen to lay in Cole's bed all day. Fuckinguseless. Not that Oakley would let her forget it either. She’s given that girl hell for days and the headache at the base of my skull is proof.

My hands clench, jaw so tight my teeth threaten to crack, the need to do more than stand around strong. A month. It’s been a full fucking month since I’ve laid eyes on my Killer.

“Fuck it, come on Oak.” I jerk my head to the door.

West looks over his shoulder tensing when he sees the look on my face, but Haven pulls his attention back to the screen when she groans. Oakley stands to follow when Havoc lashes out to snatch up her wrist. Bitch boy.

“Blue.” His tone is stern but his gaze is soft.

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