Page 34 of For Puck's Sake

My team gives chase, one of the defensemen tries to intercept Franklin, but he spins gracefully like a ballet dancer, shaking off the check and aims for Bast. I’m so impressed by the maneuver; I find myself watching instead of playing. I think I even hear Devan shouting encouragement. Franklin slows down as he approaches Bast and I watch in awe as this kid shows no fear, handling the puck like a seasoned professional, getting right in front of the crease, he shoots. Bast drops low to catch the puck on his pads, but the puck slides underneath by a mere inch to hit the back of the net. Holy shit.The arena goes berserk. Hell, I’m even cheering. Bast looks impressed as he gets to his feet, stick under his arm and applauds Franklin for getting one by him. Tor skates up to Franklin and pats his helmet and the game is officially on. I guess there’s no need to hold back with these kids, they came to play.

The rest of the game goes by fast, Tor’s team take the win. But every kid on the ice today got a chance to show off their skills throughout. All in all, the game was a success. I feel like a proud dad, I can’t stop smiling as all the kids take to the ice piling on top of each other. I instinctively turn toward the stands, my eyes finding Alexis easily as she claps and cheers with the rest of the crowd, but my smile falls when I see the seat next to her is still empty. I try to stay focused throughout the scrimmage, but my eyes keep wandering back to where Brea is supposed to be. I look toward the entrance but there is no one standing there but a few parents as they watch their kids celebrate.

Frowning, I skate past Tor, Bast and Devan, they all look my way with various concerned expressions, but no one speaks to me. They know me well enough to know intervening before I’m ready is a bad idea. I just need to figure out what happened between this morning and now to prevent Brea from being here.Jumping over the boards, I drop down next to my phone and sit. Sliding my gloves and helmet off, I place them beside me. I immediately swipe my screen and tense at the number of notifications on my phone. I’ve missed ten calls from Hazel and five from Lia, but I ignored them to open up messages from Brea.

Luna: I’m on my way.

Luna: Ridley, I’m not going to make it to the community center. I’m sorry. I’m not going to make the scrimmage, baby. I will see you later this evening at the Summer Festival.

Luna: I just saw the post. Ridley, I believe you. It’s a lot to process. This will not make me run, I promise.

Luna: I love you.

My frown deepens. I’m confused for just second before it all falls into place. Missed calls by Hazel and Lia, Brea mentioning a post.

“Fuck!” I shout, then I remember where I am, hoping no one heard me amongst all the noise in the arena. Pulling up my social media notifications I’m stunned by the sheer amount. Opening Instagram, I tap on the post I’ve been tagged in and freeze. My stomach churns, my heart rate spikes, and I can already feel the headache starting behind my eyes. My hands shake as I bring the phone closer to get a better look.

A black and white sonogram. The image of a baby clear and defined with a heart emoji on the top of the baby’s head. I swallow past the lump in my throat as I read the simple message.

Baby Masters.

I don’t know how long I stared at the image on the screen and the message below. Grief washes over me and I’m fighting to breathe. I drop my head and squeeze my eyes shut, no longer caring where the hell I am. My vision blurs as tears fall. I don’t wipe them away.

I’m angry at whoever this woman is, for her trying to exploit me for personal gain. I’m overcome with so much sorrow. What a cruel joke this is. But no one knows about the baby we lost. No one knows this post is a blow to mine and Brea’s mental stability. So, I let myself mourn, not for the baby on the sonogram, but the child I lost. For the life that wasn’t meant to be. There’s no way this baby is mine, I know it. I can only imagine what Brea is thinking, but she said she believed me, that this wouldn’t make her run. I’m going to hold her to that promise. We’ve come so far in such a short period of time since we decided to start again. Her willingness to stick with me despite this, it means the world to me.

I don’t know how this image got past Hazel and my PR Team but I’m going to tell her to leave it. There is no hiding this. From all the comments and shares, this has probably already made it to all the major news channels. Well, fuck it, I’ll fix this myself. The only person I’m worried about this affecting is the woman I love. Maybe I should take a leaf from Alexis’s book, face the world and reveal the truth about everything. Give the public what they want, then maybe, finally, I won’t be the flavor of the month anymore. Regardless, I just want my life to quiet down.

I don’t need to lift my head to know my friends have approached. I can feel their eyes on me, but no one says a word. I raise my hand and turn the phone toward the three of them and watch their reactions.

Devan sucks in a sharp breath, covering his mouth with his hand. “What the fuck. This shit has gotten out of hand.” His eyes widen in horror. “These bunnies are shameless.”

“Hazel will fix it. Do you want me to get Parker in on this?” Tor asks as he pulls his phone out of his back pocket. Forever the fixer my best friend, and I love him even more for the gesture. But I shake my head no. No, I’m going to let this play out. This woman, whoever she is, will be called to the carpet publicly so others will think twice about doing this again. If there was a nugget of truth to her story in any way, this situation would be different, but I know it is a lie.

Bast rubs the back on his neck with his hand. No gloves, no pads. I hadn’t even realized that they were all out of their gear. How long have I been sitting here in a daze over all of this? “We are here for you. Whatever you need. But you need to jump ahead of this before things get out of hand. You know how fast the sheep start to spin their own stories. They will try to paint you in a negative light, and there’s not a negative bone in your body, Rid. I’m angry for you, with you and for this entire situation.” I hear the anger in his voice, and I wonder if his emotions are coming from his own personal experience. Bast never told us why Winnipeg traded him to the Vipers. There are rumors that he wanted to leave. Something happened between him and another teammate, but I’m not sure what. It was all very hush hush. But I guess we all have secrets and things we’d rather keep to ourselves. He will tell us when he’s ready and I will be right beside him lending him my support.

I blow out a breath. “I’m going to tell you three something. Something I’ve held on to for a while now. I know now it was one of the reasons Brea left me. We’ve both kept this close to our hearts. At the time, it was too painful. I was too raw, especially after she left,” I say running a hand down my face.

Tor leans over the boards and pats my knee in a show of support. “Hey, you don’t have to tell us. But I always wondered if there was something I was missing when it came to the way you two ended.”

Devan raises his hand, making my lips tip up in a small smile. “I thought so too. I was waiting on you to tell us eventually.”

Bast sighs. “Same. Your reaction to the breakup, the pain in your eyes, and the way you wanted to walk away from this”—he circles the arena with his hand—“I kind of figured there was more.”

I look at the three of them. My family. Tor and Devan have always been there for me. When Bast came along, he easily fit into our little circle of trust. I loved them all. They’ve seen me at my best and worst. I should have let them in completely. Maybe I wouldn’t have reacted the way I did after the breakup. Maybe I would have found healthier ways of dealing with the loss of my world.

“You suspected right, there was so much more,” I say as I begin to tell them of everything that happened between Brea and me. The night we lost the baby, the ectopic pregnancy, and the possibility of her never conceiving again. I explained why we kept it to ourselves in an attempt to keep something so personal out of the media. I let my tears fall freely again when I told them about the night she left, how I begged her to stay, that I could fix what was broken.

“But it wasn’t enough,” I say as I look up again to find that Alexis has joined us. She stands between Tor and Devan. Tor has her clutched to his side as she wipes away tears. “She left with a note and didn’t look back.”

“I get it,” Alexis says, her voice strained. “Brea was drowning.”

I nod my head in agreement. “She was. I didn’t know. I was away all the time. Hockey got me through it because I could just focus on the game. She would tell me she was okay and I believed her.”

“Trauma affects us all in different ways, we all react to it differently, running is one of them.” Alexis looks at Tor with abrief frown on her face. I can only assume she’s thinking about what she and Tor went through. “But at the same time, when you’re in it, you believe it’s for the best.”

“In the past few weeks it dawned on me Brea had no support. Neither did I—I don’t mean you guys.” I hold up my hand to stop the protest I know is coming and continue, “Brea’s parents are practically nonexistent in her life. My parents are gone. Lia doesn’t handle loss well after everything we went through, so I couldn’t lean on her. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I understand. I acknowledge where it all went wrong. And now, you guys, my family, the people that I care about the most, know,” I say as I look at Devan, who is frowning, and I smile because I know what he’s thinking.

“I will tell her when I get home. She’s going to be pissed, but I can handle the little runts wrath,” I say as I imagine steam bellowing from Lia’s head as she curses me for keeping all of this from her.

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