Page 36 of For Puck's Sake

I sat back in my seat and braced myself as I clicked on the message he sent me. As the image loaded, I froze. It was a screenshot of an Instagram post. A black and white sonogram picture. The image of the baby was triggering, I could feel my heart rate spike, my breathing, shallow and rapid. Panic lingered on the edge of my consciousness. The first tear fell when I read the caption underneath.

Baby Masters.

The whirling carnival rides, flashing lights, laughter, and loud conversation pull me from the memory of the phone call this morning. Time sped up after that, as I sent messages to Ridley with the hope we can talk before I’m whisked away from him. I’m sure the world has seen the image of the sonogram and the claim that the baby is his. With me leaving without warning tonight, I want to reassure him I’m not leaving him because of it. He has my heart. I’m not going anywhere. I will not run. Thistime, we will get through all this together, no matter the distance between us. Tonight though, tonight will be bittersweet, because this is it. The end of our time here in Lark Bay, but hopefully, the beginning of our forever.

The Lark Bay Summer Festival is a yearly event where both sides of town come together for a night of fun and celebration at the end of the summer season. In a couple of weeks, the kids will go back to school, the tourists will travel back down south, and the town goes into what I consider hibernation until the holiday season. It’s the highlight of summer, with carnival rides and games, food vendors from all over the state, and local arts and craft merchants who live and work in and around Lark Bay.

I remember when I was a kid it was the one event I looked forward to the most. My parents never spent much time with me as I grew up but for some reason, the summer festival was the one exception. My father used to let me hang from his back, pink and blue cotton candy in hand and a big smile on my face. We would ride all the rides, leaving the Ferris wheel for last. He’d make sure the attendant stopped our car at the top so I could look at the horizon, the darkness broken by glittering lights from activity below.

My mother was like another person, smiling and playing carnival games alongside me. I remember every year I would wish for this piece of normality to remain. I wanted nothing more than to wake up the next morning and run into both my parents’ arms, eat breakfast—to receive just an ounce of the affection I was shown the day before. But of course, it was like waking from a dream and reliving the same dream every year, until I got old enough to realize it was all an act. The picture-perfect family. The entire town thought my mother and father were model parents. It’s no wonder my mother has been the leader of the town council for so many years, she’d been brainwashing the town with her fakeness even then.

I can’t believe I agreed to be here tonight. “You are a Brookes, you must represent the family tonight, it is your duty.”I almost laughed at my mother’s first text to me in almost five years. Instead of hello or how are you, daughter, I received a demand to perform. I wanted to tell her to shove her performance up her stuffy ass, but of course, the record label thought it would be great to send a small film crew to record the performance. They say jump and I have no choice but to oblige. Unfortunately my mother got what she wanted in the end.

So, here I am. Standing at the bottom of the stairs that lead up to the pavilion. My father stands next to me with a plastic smile on his face as we listen to my mother drone on about how important community and family is to the town of Lark Bay.

“What a load of bullshit,” I mutter, adjusting Bessie’s strap over my shoulder. I wish this night ended with me in Ridley’s arms, playing games and riding rides. Tor and Alexis arrived this morning and I would have loved the chance to catch up. I don’t know Alexis well, but anyone who loves and befriends Lia is someone I know I will like. But unfortunately, all those plans went out the window with the late-night flight looming over me. To say I’m unhappy about the control my label has over me is an understatement. Quitting isn’t an option, so renegotiations are definitely in my near future. Although, I doubt Damien will be amenable to said changes, considering I didn’t roll over and let him manipulate me. I may be a newly signed artist, but I am not green by any means. I have an untouched trust fund. If the time comes when I want to break my contract, I know several great lawyers. It would be the one time I use my parents’ wealth to my advantage.

“Brea, not tonight, please,” my father pleads as he lays a hand on my shoulder. I glance over at him and scowl. Yep, all familial pleasantries have long gone when it comes to him and my mother.

“Anything for Selah, right?” I purse my lips as he turns his indignant gaze on me. Eyes wide as if to say, ‘don’t you dare, young lady’, like I’m a five-year-old child. I hold up a hand to stop him, because I don’t want to hear it. “Of course, I won’t make a scene, but it has nothing to do with whatever shit she’s spinning.” I know I shouldn’t let him, or my mother get under my skin, but I can’t help it. I’ve been here for weeks and not once have they reached out to me. Although, I must admit I was dreading it, but fuck it, a part of me wanted them to at least try. I think about Red and Charlie, how their families have washed their hands of them. I guess it’s official, after tonight, I’m done with them both. They can forget they have a daughter.

“She’s your mother!” my father whispers harshly. Usually this would be the moment I blew up and let my anger make me do something rash. Instead, I snort laugh. There is so much noise around us, no one can hear our conversation, so no one is paying us any mind. But dear old dad still looks around like I’ve tarnished the Brookes name somehow.

I wave him off. “Oh, come on, Father, she is no more my mother than all the nannies who raised me over the years. She doesn’t care about me, and as much as I wanted to give you the benefit of doubt, you’re just as bad as she is. In fact, you’re worse because you know how awful she actually is. I really thought you used to love me but were too afraid to show it. I used to think you were trapped by her as well. You were the good parent, who loved me but had to ignore me because of her.”

I feel my eyes stinging as my father looks away from me then. Yeah, I’ve hit a nerve. He can’t even look at me because I’m speaking the truth. And yet, all he has to do is look at me, at least try to make it right. But he won’t. It hurts, but I’m done letting my parents disappoint me.

“It’s okay. I’ll make it easy on you both. Make sure you relay this to Selah for me. I won’t apologize for not being the daughteryou wanted me to be. I’m not sorry for taking control of my life, instead of following the plans you and Mother set for me. I will always be a disappointment to her, and you know what? I don’t care.” I point to my mother on stage where she’s now wrapping up her speech, and turn back to my father. “I love you, whether your heart ever beats for me or not, but I can do that from afar. Maybe one day we can fix what’s broken between us.” I chuckle half-heartedly. “But I won’t hold my breath.”

“Lark Bay, I’m so pleased to have my daughter here tonight. She graciously agreed to perform for the town. Help me welcome her to the stage. Brea, honey.” My mother turns our way clapping and waving for me to go on stage. Her smile looks warm and genuine, she even looks, dare I say, proud. For a moment, if I didn’t know better, it’s almost believable. It’s laughable how convincing she is. When I don’t move right away, her nostrils flare in anger, just enough to let me know she’s irritated. I don’t miss the break in her façade when she chances a quick glance in my father’s direction and sees his shell-shocked face.

“Enjoy the show, Dad.” I take one last look at my father and bound up the stairs. I don’t even give my mother a second glance as I pass her retreating form. As soon as I hit the stage, I’m scanning the crowd. It doesn’t take long to spot the collection of massive hockey players amongst the screaming fans near the front. Tor holds Alexis close to his chest as she claps excitedly. Bast, Devan, and even Derrick are standing beside them. But as I wave to the waiting audience, I only have eyes for one man. Ridley’s smile is big and bright, his blue eyes sparkle as the lights from the stage reflect off them. I woke up with him this morning, yet I miss him already. He gives me a little wave, then takes his right hand and places it over his heart.

He mouths. “I love you,” and it’s all I need to get through this tonight. With his love, I can get through anything.

Approaching the mic, the crowd goes silent, waiting.

“Hello, Lark Bay!” The audience erupts with applause. I can feel the vibration through my body, the experience sends a thrill through me.

“For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Brea Brookes,” I say leaning into the mic. Taking my place on the stool behind me, I stake my claim here and now. I want the world to know who holds my heart.

“This song is for Ridley. My muse, my ocean, my everything,” I say as I look directly into the crowd at him. My smile is wide, unapologetic, I don’t care about anyone’s reaction but his as I rotate Bessie to the front of my body and begin to play.

TWENTY-TWO

RIDLEY

The Summer Festival is packed with Lark Bay residents and tourists, and the vibe is jovial chaos. It’s loud, with screams from rides, laughter, people talking, and music. There’s the usual carnival fare on offer. Families are out in full force tonight, couples young and old hold hands as they pass us, and teens hang out in groups around the various picnic tables. There’s a bit of a chill in the air, the clearing where the festival is held is near the cove, making the temperature cooler due to the proximity of the ocean. If you listen hard enough, even with all the festival noise you can still hear the crashing of the waves echoing off the black rocky mountains above us. The smell of popcorn, cotton candy, and deep-fried food permeates the air, along with the scent of the ocean on the breeze. It’s all an assault on the senses, but in the most exhilarating way. I’ve been to loads of carnivals and festivals in my lifetime and the novelty never gets old.

“Bailey, if you eat another funnel cake, you’re going to pay for it next week during training camp,” Bast says in jest as we make our way toward the pavilion where Brea will be performingtonight. I glance beside me and laugh at Bast as he holds a funnel cake in one hand and gigantic size blue slushie in the other.

Tor scoffs as he takes a huge bite of his funnel cake, powdered sugar floating through the air as he speaks, “Are you kidding me? You, big grump. You’re going to be bouncing off the walls with all the sugar in your hands right now. Besides, training camp is next week. I’m still on vacation.”

Devan joins the conversation, mouth full of some kind of fried pickle, chicken combo on a stick. “The extra time in the gym will be worth it. I’ve been looking forward to carnie food all summer. No food shaming tonight.”

“Is food shaming a thing?” Alexis asks, face scrunched in disbelief as she pulls a bit off from a massive bag of pink cotton candy.

“Yes!” Bast, Tor, and Devan say in unison, making me double over with laughter.

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