Page 16 of For Puck's Sake

Me: (Laughing emoji) Yes, mister workout and nutrition guru. You are one to talk. Preparations for the camp are going well. Oh yea, loving my assistant by the way. Thanks for the heads up. Derrick Fucking Shaw!! (wide eyed emoji)

Bailey: Derrick is great. He’s going to kill it for Toronto. He will be our competition soon. Have Bast put him through his paces. Make sure you film it for me. (Hands clapping emoji) So, are we going to exchange small talk or do you actually want to talk about why you’re really reaching out. Does this have something to do with your neighbor? Oh, and by the way, you’re welcome. (Smiley face emoji)

Me: Yes, it was quite a surprise. I would say I am grateful, but she wants nothing to do with me, Tor. I found her out on the dock the other night, she was just as surprised to see me. Let’s just say it wasn’t the best first meeting after two years of radio silence. I fucked up and I don’t know what to do here, Tor. How do I make this right?

I watch the dots bounce up and down, then they stop. Then I stare at them as they reappear again, as if Tor is typing then deleting what he was going to say. Knowing Tor, he probably is. As I wait for his reply, I stare out of the massive bay windows and on to the manicured front lawn where Brea was parked only moments ago. For the past three days I’ve given her space. I haven’t been back to Red’s, and I skirted around town to avoid running into her. I needed time to think about how I was going to approach her properly. I want to have a real conversation with her, easy, like we used to. We are still the same two people who fell in love with one another all those years ago. We just have to find them somehow.

My phone chimes and I’m clinging to it for dear life, desperate for his suggestion. I will do anything. Until I’ve exhausted every possibility, because my Luna is worth it. I want her to remember, she is worth everything.

Bailey: Start over.

Me: ? I’m sorry. What?

Bailey: Hey, I had an entire list of things to suggest, but Alexis vetoed them all. Her advice is to start over. It’s the only way to make a fresh start. If not, you both will continue to circle around past issues. It will be a constant push and pull. These are Alexis’s words, not mine. Honestly, I say kidnap her and tie her to the bed. Make her see reason.

Me: You need to stop reading Devan’s stalker romance book suggestions. I’m getting a little worried about you.

Bailey: Alexis knows how possessive I am. In fact, she loves it.

Me: TMI.

Bailey: (Winky face emoji)

Me: So, start over. A new beginning. (Thinking emoji) Easier said than done.

Bailey: Do I need to remind you of where I was only a few months ago? Alexis and I had serious water under the bridge. We made it work, we forgave each other, we started anew. When have you ever let a challenge stop you? Do you love her still?

Me: Absolutely! I never stopped.

Bailey: Yeah, I thought so. You can never fool me.

Me: I’ve been the biggest fool. I was only kidding myself.

Bailey: Good. I am glad you see it now.

Me: Geez, thanks.

Bailey: That’s what friends are for. Yes, I am singing the song right now. Alexis is giving me the stink eye.

Me: Stop torturing your fiancée. Or is she your wife yet?

Bailey: Plans are in motion. Her family is going to kill me, but we can always celebrate with them during Christmas break.

Me: Does Alexis know this?

Bailey: (Shhh face emoji)

Me: I’ll leave you to your nefarious dealings, Bailey, but don’t call me when she writes another book about you again and then kills you off.

Bailey: She wouldn’t. Wait. She would. Okay, I got to go. I need to love on my Supernova, so she’s too blissed out to notice my wedding ring on her finger.

Me: Good luck with that.

Bailey: Hey, I know there are a lot of things about your relationship with Brea I know nothing about. I get it. Some things need to remain private. Whatever it is, I know the two of you can overcome it. Find your common ground. Put her first. Remind her you love her. Now go get your girl. Again, you’re welcome. And yes, you can thank your Disney stars I’m serenading Alexis with that song from Moana right now. (Winky face emoji)

I don’t even bother texting him back. Knowing Tor, he is too wrapped up in Alexis to give me any more of his time. I remind myself to thank Alexis though. She may be on to something. Although the idea of starting again with Brea sounds like abrilliant plan in theory, in practice though, I’m not sure if there’s too much damage already done, from both sides.

All I know for certain is I still love her. I look at her and still see our future, despite the seemingly insurmountable odds stacked against us. With my hockey schedule and her national tour, it all feels impossible. When my parents died, I thought being a rookie in the NHL while taking care of my seventeen-year-old sister was impossible. I took on the role of brother, parent, and full-time athlete, and wore that responsibility like armor. I’ve given everything in my life one hundred percent, even when I wanted to give up, grieve my losses, and hide away from prying eyes. I don’t plan on giving up on her. I tried to walk away, and I don’t like the man I became without her by my side. I have to take a chance here, because I have a feeling I am only going to get one. This is what I wanted all those months ago as I looked up at the night sky, wishing for a moment. This is it.

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