Page 76 of 12 Days of Mistletoe

I did not get enough sleep last night. And now my brain has decided that Elliot is more than new, more than fake, more than a friend. It’s a sleepy concoction, not a real one.

I swallow, attempt to be a grown-up, and then snatchmy phone as quick as I can. A small number one lights up my texting app and I pull in a breath just before tapping the little green icon.

But Elliot hasn’t texted me. It’s not even from Sarah at Canine Compassion, my mother, or my sister. Huh… does anyone else ever text me?

Autumn: Are you surviving?

I reach for another Cheeto. No rush now.

Me: Surviving what?

Autumn: Denial? It’s a rough business.

Me: This is different. You were denying. I’m pretending.

Autumn: Ah. You’re right. That is different.

Autumn: So… surviving?

Me: Mostly.

Me: Is it normal for a woman pretending to be with a man to want him to run upstairs and save her from blistering to death?

As long as I’m confessing, might as well go all in?—

Me: While shirtless.

Autumn: And you said I was the only one in denial.

Meg: BONNIE!

Me: Whoa! Autumn. Betrayal. You didn’t tell me my sister was in this chat.

Autumn: I didn’t think I needed to. It shows you who you’re chatting with on your phone, doesn’t it?

Meg: You don’t want to chat with me, Bonnie? Well, that hurts.

Me: I just thought I was being blatantly, embarrassingly honest with Autumn—who is your best friend, not mine. No offense, Autumn, but I don’t mind if you think I’m pathetic.

Autumn: Not pathetic. Just confused.

I can’t even deny it. I am confused.

Me: Why do I want Elliot to run up here shirtless and doctor me up?

Meg: Bonnie—do you need an actual doctor?? What’s wrong?

Me: A hot mug blistered my finger. Nothing life-threatening.

Meg: Maybe you’re a little lonely.

Maybe I am. I hate even thinking those words with Noel at my side because she’s my best girl. I don’t know what I’d do without her. But these past few days, I’ve enjoyed being with Elliot’s family and even more so with Elliot.

Me: Meg, I love you, and you are the best sister in the world. Could you pretend for a minute that you aren’t here?

Meg: Rude.

Meg: But okay.

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