Page 71 of 12 Days of Mistletoe

Autumn: So… do we like him or not?

I walk myself and my dogs over to a snowy park bench and sit. This is going to take a minute.

Me: We like him. He was being protective of his grandma, not knowing about my situation.

I just assume that Meg has informed her bestie of my anxiety and Noel being more than a pet. If she hasn’t, I’m pretty sure Autumn is the type of person who would ask.

Me: He’s sweet and motivated and?—

My clumsy thumb hits send rather than delete.

Meg: And?

Autumn: And?

Me: And that’s all I feel like sharing right now.

Me: Here’s the deal: I’ve only positive feelings for him NOW. But we’re putting on this charade. His gran is leading the whole fake thing. That’s a different story, one I don’t completely understand.

Me: The point is, the timing for anything REAL is all wrong. It’s too confusing.

Autumn: That is confusing…

Autumn: You could talk about it and revisit these feelings after Christmas, when the Twelve Days of Mistletoe are over. It’s not that far away.

Me: Ugh. I knew I shouldn’t have shared Gran’s title for this sham with you, Meghan Miller Jex!

Meg: I’m sorry. That title was too good not to share.

Autumn: I don’t recommend waiting longer, Bonnie. Talk now. Act later. There’s a lot of pain mixed up in unsaid feelings.

Me: Opposed to the pain of unrequited feelings?

Autumn: At least then you’d know. You could move on.

I glance up from my phone, replaying her words over in my head. It’s a short replay—Mitzie the pug has high-centered herself on a small log bench for children just next to where I sit.

“Sorry, Mitz,” I say, shoving my phone into my pocketand freeing the little dog of her high-centered prison. “We’ve both got problems, don’t we, girl.”

THIRTY-FIVE

bonnie

“If I’m doing this,then you are too,” May says matter-of-factly to her grandson. She hands him a paintbrush.

Elliot scoffs. “You’re a thousand times more artistic than me, Gran. We both know it.”

I peek at my friend that—darn it—I am so darn attracted to. We are on day three of activities with Bill. Apparently, the Eaton family has taken a short break from holiday festivities.

I’ve had lots of time with Elliot, though—plenty of time to talk like Autumn suggested. Have I brought up real feelings? Nope. I have not.

May has kept us busy and I have focused on that. She insists on seeing us together daily. She says we need kissing practice and something fun. We’ve also seen Bill, who doesn’t seem to care what we’re doing as long as he gets to see May.

The pair beat us at cards yesterday and Scrabble the daybefore. But today we’re doing something less competitive and more artistic. May and Elliot both seem to prefer the competitive.

“You’re painting, Elliot James,” his grandmother barks at him.

Elliot smirks out a small laugh. “Yes, ma’am.”

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