Page 58 of Guarded Rebellion

Yet, I couldn’t quit while I was ahead. “I thought you said you didn’t trust Kelly because of her background. That I shouldn’t befriend her.”

At a red light, he turned to face me, stoic as ever. “But I trust you, Eva.” He swallowed and didn’t break this serious gaze on me. “I think I can trust you, and if you feel that she won’t be a threat to you, I won’t deny that.”

Wow.

I blinked, stunned silly by his profound admission.

Hetrustedme. That wasn’t as deep as caring for me or loving me or anything else, but trust?

That mattered in my corner of the world.

We didn’t speak on the way there, but for the first time, this quiet was comfortable, not tense. I imagined he had to be thinking about a lot. I was. Mostly, I envisioned what kind of a state Kelly would be in, and I worried that I might not be warm and nurturing enough to comfort her.

Lev walked into the health clinic with me, but when we spotted Rurik in the hallway, the men approached each other. “She’s in the room there,” Rurik told me with a point of his finger.

I nodded, letting them talk while I knocked then entered the room. “Hey,” I greeted.

“Oh, thank God you’re here.” Her shoulders sagged as she closed her eyes. Relief was evident, and it made me feel better, like I could be of assistance to her.

“Did they…?”

She nodded. “It, uh, wasn’t as weird as I worried it would be. Just like a pap. You know? Or not. I think the adrenaline is making me jittery, and they gave me something to help with the nausea and pain on the back of my head, and that’s making me hyper loopy.” She yawned. “And tired.”

“I’m so sorry this happened.” I sat, offering my hand to hold hers.

She grasped it and sighed that deep, relaxed exhale again. “I can’t claim to think straight right now, but when they… checked me, I felt like I was worrying for nothing. Like a phantom feeling that wasn’t there? If someone forced me into something, my body would remember the touch, right?”

I shrugged, not wanting to give her false platitudes. “I don’t know.”

“I hate that it’s all so foggy. I remember walking home from class. But then I stopped at the café for a coffee because my coupon for a free one expires tomorrow. And on the walk home, I felt terrible, like I was going to faint or puke or shit myself. Or all three at once. I don’t know. I vaguely remember going to shower, thinking it would make me feel better, but then I woke up on the floor. They think I passed out and hit my head. Which would explain the lump there.”

Her rapid-fire style of rambling confirmed her hyper state of mind from the medications.

“But I could’ve sworn I heard voices when I started the shower. And some guys were talking to me at the café. I think?” She scrunched her face, deep in thought at trying to remember.

“We’ll figure it out.”

She sniffled and nodded, smiling at me with so much gratitude shining in her eyes that I wondered how high these meds were making her. They’d probably given her a sedative or something to help with the nerves, but wow, was she all over the place.

“Thank you for coming to sit with me. It makes this wait for answers more bearable.”

“No worries. I’m glad to help you however I can.”

“Without you…” She lifted one shoulder and let it fall again. Another yawn cracked her mouth wide open. “You’re the only one who is here to help me.”

What a sobering comment. I stared at her getting drowsier with every breath. It was as though my presence could soothe her to lower her guard and rest.

The contrast between us couldn’t have been clearer. Kelly’s words proved just how different of a life she'd led compared to the messy one I often wanted to escape.

She had no family in her life. Lev mentioned drug addicts for parents, but since she’d gone through the foster system, she had no such family now. She lacked a single person to defend her, to look out for her interests.

Whereas I had the might and wealth of the Baranov Family behind me. My father was a waste of space. My mother ran off with my sister. But I had Uncle Oleg and the decent soldiers he employed. Like Rurik and Marcus.

Like Lev.

As I stroked my fingertips over Kelly’s knuckles and watched her sleep, I accepted this realization as proof. This was evidence that Lev wasn’t as bad as I claimed him to be when I called him an overlord asshole. He could be commanding and controlling, but those traits were fashioned out of a place of loyalty. He cared. He had to give a damn about me to be this diligent to do his job as my bodyguard and to make me feel so good.

He cares. Aboutme.

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