Page 57 of Guarded Rebellion

His body was so warm underneath mine, every inch of his bare skin flush against mine. And his voice was so deep and low, lulling and comforting, which amazed me. He was quite the juxtaposition, so firm and commanding but also able to take it down a notch and be calm and steady.

As I lay there, so secure and feeling so sated, I dared to wonder.

What if we tried to make this work?

It was foolish to get my hopes up, but a tiny seed of hope took root in the back of my mind.

What if…I didn’t have to be arranged to someone else?

What if… he really means it when he says he knows what I need and can give it to me?

By the time I got up to shower, I realized that I wanted that little illicit fantasy to blossom into a reality.

I slipped out of his embrace when he was called again, and before I would be glued to him, I winced and slowly got up.

It seemed he had the same idea in mind. While I cleaned up, he’d showered too. I felt braver to face him, not hide or sulk. Today had been a true roller coaster of emotions, but I lacked the energy or willpower to go through another silent treatment or cold shoulder with him.

I came out to the living room, spotting him in the kitchen. My phone rang, though, holding me back from speaking to him about what it might mean that we’d had sex twice now. Unprotected sex.

“It’s Kelly,” I said, glancing at him. “Isn’t Rurik with her?”

He nodded, frowning. “That’s what he said.”

I answered on speaker, though, already aware that Lev would want to know any clues or facts that she could share about what happened to her earlier.

“Hey, Kel.”

“Eva? Can you come sit with me?”

I furrowed my brow. “Isn’t Rurik there?” It wasn’t like sheknewhim. She’d seen him and understood he worked for my family. I wanted to support her, but I wouldn’t push Lev to make the trip there again. Besides, we needed to talk—not just fight, then have sex.

“He is. But I want you to sit with me. I’m…” She sighed, or maybe it was an inhale to stave off tears. That was how it sounded. “I’m scared that I could’ve been raped.”

I lowered my head, hating that she’d fear such a thing. Lev didn’t hesitate to come over and stand next to me. His hand moved slowly in steady rubs up and down my back.

“It’s not a good time of the month in case that were to happen. And I–I can’t handle a pregnancy now, let alone…”Nowshe cried. My heart cracked at her sniffles. “I want to have a rape kit done, but I’m nervous and scared and you’re the only person I can think of to call and ask for company. Rurik hasn’t left the hall, but I don’t want to ask him and?—”

“I’ll be there,” I replied. Confirming this with Lev was probably what he expected, but fuck that. He could not be that hot and cold where I was concerned. He couldn’t be so tender and skilled at making me feel amazing and also be a hard-ass cruel enough to stop me from being there for my friend. He couldn’t be that twisted and contradictory.

I disconnected and looked up at my bodyguard. Or could I get away with calling him a lover now, too?

My only lover.

“Just give me a minute,” he said.

“You’re not going to challenge me?”

He didn’t reply, leaving me to go back to the kitchen and grab his phone.

“You’re not going to tell me that I can’t decide to go there and be with her?”

His face remained blank as he faced me, deadpan even.

“What gives?”

“Nothinggives,” he said simply, gesturing for me to precede him out the apartment door. It was late, and no one was out in the hallway. Even the parking garage was emptier than usual.

In the car, I let it go. It made no sense to push him for an explanation of why he wasn’t fighting me about going to be with Kelly. He wasn’t insisting that I stay locked up with him. More than anything, I was grateful he wasn’t trying that bullshit line about my not being friends with her because he didn’t trust her…

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