Page 80 of The Sinner's Sanctuary

I’ve been tossing around the idea of having Christian come with me. While it’s not strictly business related, a show of solidarity could help. Graham might not come alone, either. But if he does, I doubt he’ll be open to discussing terms within earshot of my part-time executive assistant.

It’s likely best if he doesn’t come with me. I should keep this whole disgusting business between Marianne and me. My only reservation is I’d love someone objective to bounce this scheme off of. Or, perhaps more accurately, vent about it with. My relationship with my wife is not an area of my life I invite many people in to view, but ever since Christian and I were on the roof not eating Whole Foods salad, I’ve been wanting to talk about it. Maybe I’m reaching a breaking point. It was bound to happen eventually.

“Okay,” Christian says, shifting to his other hip with a grimace and moving his laptop accordingly. “Hendricks and Omar are rescheduled for Monday. Neither of them could do later this afternoon. So, unless you want me to reach out to some of your other Monday appointments, your afternoon is free.”

“Leave it open,” I tell him. I may need to get very drunk afterthis lunch. “Are you sure you’re all right? Do you want a Vicodin or something?”

He flashes me a dark look. “Maybe later. I’m fine.”

“You can’t possibly be fine.”

“We’re not talking about this right now,” he says, turning back to his screen. “You have four-hundred and twenty-one emails.”

“Well, if that’s the case, please be still,” I say.

“Yes, sir,” he murmurs, sarcastically.

I inhale deeply through my nose and try to calm down. I’m hopelessly on edge, and all Christian’s fidgeting and his yes, sirs are driving me out of my goddamn mind. I check my watch. 11:30. Fuck.

“You’re sure you don’t want me at your lunch?” he asks after a few minutes of scowling at his screen.

“Positive,” I say. “Why?”

“I could eat, but I assume it’s personal if you don’t want me there.”

“It’s not that I don’twantyou there,” I hedge.

“You just said you didn’t.”

“It’s just better if you’re not.”

“You seem stressed.”

“What gave me away?”

“You’re not usually so savage with your ties.”

I have been tugging at the knot quite a bit. It’ll need to be redone before I leave to meet with Lawther. Christian’s mention of it, however, has me picturing doing something else with it—like tying his hands behind his back, jerking on the knot and making his chest jut out. Sucking a mark into his throat. I blink away the vivid image before I start getting hard, but not before I remember the way his mouth felt on my nipple, how eager I’d been to spread my legs and submit tohim.

I’m sure this is some sort of transference. Marianne being a Domme in her own right has had me imagining many submissions over the last couple of years—letting her tiemeup—evenlock my cock in a cage so she feels safe while I pleasure her with my mouth. A few weeks ago, I would have given anything for one opportunity, but now, with this Avery mess between us and her stiffening at my touch, the thought of it arouses me less than the thought of allowing myself to be physically overpowered by this man I find more beautiful by the hour.

I’m acting out. Like a toddler who’s been denied his favorite toy. That’s all this is.

“Can you let my driver know to pick me up in ten minutes?” I ask, rising from my chair.

“Are you sure?”

I sigh. “Yes, Christian.”

“Need help with anything else?” he asks as I walk to the bathroom.

“Tempting, but I can take care of myself.”

Realizing too late how that sounded, I close the door only to confront my flushed face and fevered eyes in the bathroom mirror. No wonder he asked if I was stressed. Have I looked like this all morning? I need to get myself under control if I’m to have any hope of pulling off this lunch.

When I emerge from the bathroom with a cooler head and softer dick, he ruins everything by approaching me to straighten my tie.

With his hands against my chest, his knuckles grazing my throat, and his hair within smelling distance, I feel myself going weak. Soft on the inside. I should have jerked off.

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