Page 5 of The Sinner's Sanctuary

Very few people know that I have an open marriage with Marianne, or the way it gnaws at me. Emilia is one of them. My older brother in California is the other. As far as everyone else is concerned, either they’re clueless, or they assume I’m happily married with an indulgent wife, when the truth is I’ve never felt so unnecessary. It doesn’t matter how many times I tell myself that our bond is more important than sex. My heart is broken, but it’s forever faithful to her. “I suppose,” I tell Emilia.

“When was the last time the two of you went out? Just the two of you?”

“A date night?” I ask. “Really?”

“Are you still having breakfast together?”

“Most days.”

“But you’re still hoping something will change.”

At that, I’m silent. The CEO grunts an orgasm, and Gavin turns to face him with rosy cheeks and a smirk. The chaise will soon bring out the exhibitionist in someone else, and I may need to take Pet into my private room and tie her up to entertain myself for the next hour. But tonight, there’s an undercurrent of anger in me, and I don’t trust myself with restraints or impact play. She’s too new for that.

“I lost another assistant today,” I say instead of answering Emilia’s question.

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish.”

“What does she do to these women?”

“I don’t want to know.”

“I feel like youshouldwant to,” she says quietly.

I ignore that. “She suggested I offer the position to Christian.”

“The doorman?”

I nod.

“Why?”

“How the fuck do I know?”

Emilia makes a noise of disapproval. “If you insist on taking her advice, it’s not the worst she’s ever given you.”

“You think?”

“I like Christian. I wish he would smile more, but maybe that suits you.”

“He’ll say no.”

“He’ll be flattered.”

“And still say no,” I argue.

“Then you’ve done a good deed, and you move on to interviews.”

“Thanks for the pep talk,” I tell her.

“Am I excused? I’d love a turn on the chair.”

“Of course. Have fun.”

“I will. You should try it sometime.”

I narrow my eyes as she heads to the amphitheater. I glance down at Pet who’s looking up at me mournfully. I give my head a small shake. I don’t trust myself. “Let me put you to bed. I’m not in the mood tonight.”

---