Page 153 of The Sinner's Sanctuary

“You know what I noticed? While we were sitting down to dinner?”

“Hm?”

“The complete lack of warmth. And it’s not just an absence of warmth, it’s like someone’s actively pumping in cold air. Her smiles are brittle. Her laugh is hollow. She’s acting.Allthe time. She didn’t need a break from the city. She needed a break from faking it. And I don’t blame her. I do the same thing until I can’t stand it anymore and fuck up, which only pushes her further into her hiding place.”

“I’m sorry,” Christian whispers.

“I’m not feeling sorry for myself. I promise. What I’m saying is, it’s been like this so long, I started to think it was normal. That this is who we are together. And for as much as we don’t have secrets, our entire relationship is a lie I’ve been telling myself, and maybe she is, too, but mostly it’s been me from the beginning. I thought I could help, and she said she would let me. That might have been her only lie.” And it was the worst one, because I needed it so badly to be true.

Christian nods, still stroking my eyebrow, and I recognize he’s being extremely patient with me. He doesn’t want to know any of this. He wants to know what I’m going to do. “I love you,” I say so softly it’s mostly just a mouth movement.

“I love you, too,” he sighs.

“I’m having the marriage annulled.”

His eyelids flutter in rapid-fire blinks. “Annulled?”

“It was never consummated. The prenup wouldn’t apply, it would be like it never existed, because it didn’t.”

A look of genuine concern transforms his face. “Jesus, Gibson, how are you gonna manage that?”

“I’m going to make her agree to it.”

“How?”

“By offering her money. A lot of it.”

“Will she agree to that?”

“Well, it’ll require a few things to go my way and some cooperation on the part of some of her former lovers, but ultimately yes. I think she’ll agree to it.”

“You’re not blackmailing her are you?”

“I don’t think of it like that. She’s welcome to tell anyone she wants that it was a divorce, and she made out great, but once she agrees, an annulment won’t be as complicated or take as long. It was my lawyer’s idea. I would have just taken the hit and dealt with the fallout, but if this works, it’s easier long run.”

“If she agrees.”

“Either way…it’s over. It needs to be over. Thank you for helping me see that.”

His gaze drops to my mouth, and he presses forward to kiss me. It’s a sweet, slow kiss that doesn’t last nearly long enough.

“I know I said don’t do it for me, but I’m pretty sure I want you all to myself.”

“Yeah?”

“I should have better words for what I’m feeling, but I think I just like you better when you’re with me.”

I smile. “Me, too.”

“I know I can’t give you what she took from you, but I want you to know I think you’re the most amazing man. You’ve always been there for me, even before—I’m sorry if it’s weird to bring that up.”

“It’s not. We’re good.”

His forehead meets mine when he lets out a soft laugh. “I’ve always known I could count on you,” he says, “I’ve always trusted you. You were the first person I knew here.”

“You’re kind of a sap, you know?”

“I’m a poet. I don’t know what the fuck you expected.”

---