Page 37 of Twisted Collide

I give her a half smile. One that doesn’t lie. She probably sees how little I want to be here.

“Can I get you anything? Tea? Water? Something to eat?” I have to hand it to her, she’s really going for the doting mom feel. I hate it.

And I hate that I hate it because I don’t know if it’s about her or my issues with my own mom. If I really dig deep, I bet I’d find that it has everything to do with resenting how this stranger can be so kind when my mother never was.Sometimes she was.

I’ll dissect all my issues in private. I just need to get what I need and get out of here.

“I'm fine.” My voice is flat. I turn away from her, trying to decide whether I should leave the house or suck it up and stay in this kitchen while she’s here. It would be easier, but I also don’t want any more awkwardness.

Maybe what I really need to do is get to know her.

Would it really be that bad?

Despite the fact that I know there must have been a reason, and I should probably find it out, my heart hurts too much when I think about it. I’m not ready to forgive either one for their absence. I’m not sure I’ll ever be ready.

“You sure? You must be hungry.” Her voice cuts through the air, reminding me that I’m just standing here like an idiot, trying to decide my next move.

As if my body refuses to obey, my stomach chooses that exact minute to make the loudest gargling sound.

“Yeah, you’re hungry. Come on, Josie. Let me get you something.”

I pivot back around. “We don’t need to do this.”

Her eyes go wide, and she takes a step back. “Do what?”

“Serve me. Force a relationship you don’t want . . .” My chin dips, but I don’t miss the way her jaw trembles.

“I’m not pretending.”

“Then why did it take my father twenty-two years to ask to see me? Why now?” The words rush from me, and my cheeks heat, embarrassment taking root.

I never meant to say those things out loud.

“I’m sorry.” I sigh heavily. “I didn’t mean to unload on you.”

She takes a tentative step toward me, reaching out but pulling back, unsure what to do. “I’m serious, Josie. I want to know you. You’re part of this family.” She takes a deep breath. “Talk to your father. There’s a lot you don’t know.”

“Your mother lied to you.”Of course, she never said those words, but that’s what my brain concocts, and just like that, the anger surges.

“I’m good, but thanks.” I turn on my heel and rush back out the way I came. I know she’s watching me, probably thinking I’m an immature brat, but I don’t want her to see how broken I am.

I thought I was ready to know the truth, but I’m not.

My appetite is gone, and all I want to do is lock myself away. To be alone in my misery.

When I get back to the guesthouse, I start to pace. Hot tears prick my eyes, and then they fall.

I can’t be here.

I can’t care this much.

Yet I do.

The little girl who always wanted to know her dad cares.

Too damn much.

14

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