Page 58 of Mr. Darcy's Complex Courtship

Or had another lady played a part in this reversal? Whilst I had pined for him every waking hour of these past weeks, he had shared company with Miss Rebecca Finch. Had he formed an attachment to her? Or maybe her example had prompted him to reconsider our match when he could have his pick of many other more propitious choices. Lady Matlock could have utilised her time at Rosings to deter him from me as well. In truth, the reason for his altered sentiment did not matter a whit.

Fitzwilliam raised his hat and spread his fingers through the curls on the side of his head. “Your happiness is my primary concern.”

“My…myhappiness?”

“Yes.”

In a manner of speaking, our wishes coincided—for I cared most forhisfelicity. I took in his beloved, tortured countenance and locked my hands into a tight ball lest the urge to touchhim once more overwhelm me. How could I fail to assist him by making our parting as easy for him as possible? “You need not be concerned for me.”Drat, my voice cracked. I cleared my throat. “I am not made for unhappiness. No doubt we moved forwards in haste without giving this weighty decision sufficient consideration.”

“Tell me what you want to do.” His eyes anchored upon me, probing as though to decipher an enigma.

I fought the urge to wilt under his scrutiny. Did the words exist that could make him love me again? In an indirect fashion, he had made his wishes plain, so there could be no benefit in stating my foolish desires. How could I bear the loss of his love? In any case, I should not say or do aught to increase his evident discomfort.

Setting my shoulders, I sought a placid air. “If you have no objection, I shall inform my father that I have changed my mind.” I bit the inside of my mouth and turned from him.If I am wrong, if he still wants me, he will object—he will not let me go.

“Very well.”

I steeled myself against the inclination to shrink. This must be his desired result. Otherwise, he would attempt to change my mind. Our romance, a beautiful flight of fancy, could not withstand the rigours of reality.

“No matter what the future may bring, I value your friendship. If you ever need anything, you may always come to me.”

A welling of moisture stung my eyes. Could I bear to be in his company as a mere friend? Due to his association with Mr. Bingley, I could not avoid him forever; thus, I must prepare myself to endure his presence with equanimity. “Thank you.” Somehow, I had managed to sound unaffected.

“And I want you to keep the ring. It belongs to you.”

Dear me—the ring. “No, I…I cannot.” I reached to my nape and fumbled with the tiny clasp on the gold chain.

“Please, I chose that ring for you and want you to have it.”

Devoid of the energy to protest further, I abandoned the effort, and my hands fell to my sides. I could post the ring to Miss Darcy later. At present, I needed to leave or risk breaking down in front of him. “Forgive me, but I must go.” Without a backwards glance, I rushed towards the nearest door of the house. Silent pleas repeated in my head: for him to follow, call my name, and declare his love for me—but he did not.

Upon reaching the first-floor landing, I broke into a run. Once inside my chamber, I closed the door, leaned against it, and collapsed to the floor. Unrestrained sobs flowed from me as I threw off my bonnet and gloves. I removed the necklace and caressed the precious ring between my fingers.

Perhaps an hour passed before my tears subsided, and I rinsed my red, puffy eyes with cool water. I wrapped the gold chain and ring in a plain handkerchief. At the escritoire, I scrawled a brief note to Miss Darcy and sealed the ring inside.

“Lizzy.” My aunt rapped upon the door.

I rose and went to the mirror, frowning at my image. “Come in, Aunt.”

“Barnet mentioned Mr. Darcy had been here.” She hastened to me. “What is wrong?”

“We are not engaged. He…changed his mind.”

She gaped at me. “No, that cannot be true. Is that what he told you?”

“No, he went out of his way to reduce my distress. He offered to release me if it suited my wishes. Of course, I never said a word to indicate a change of heart on my part, so I comprehended his object. I do not doubt he would have honoured our agreement against his own preference—I needed to be the one to break with him.”

“Oh, Lizzy, I find this difficult to accept. I am certain he loves you.”

“I thought so as well. I do not doubt he still cares for me, but he no longer believes I am a good match for him.”

She took me in her arms, stroking my back. “I am so sorry. Maybe the viscount, the earl, or one of his aunts argued against the match and persuaded him to reconsider. Nevertheless, I am still convinced you are the ideal lady for him. If Edward speaks to him—”

“No!” I jerked back from her. “Please do not ask Uncle to interfere. It is over, and there is nothing more to be said.”

“Very well, if that is your wish.”

“Without a doubt.” I rested a hand over my racing heart. “I should like to return home tomorrow.”

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