Page 3 of Breathless Recruiter

Janet scooted behind Arthur and kneaded her fingers into his shoulders. “It’s okay, boss. We know you’re not comfortable being the boss. We’ve got you. You can do it, boss. Unleash your inner boss, boss.”

The frown deepened. Janet had that effect on her twin. “I’m going to fire you.”

“You can’t fire the Secret Identities’ Anger Management Counselor.” Every few days, Janet got bored with her job and gave herself a promotion. For a week, she held the position of Overlord. Arthur had to send daily memos reminding us to ignore her.

“You? Anger management?”

When Arthur stood, Janet threw an arm over his shoulder. “So, this launch party, do you have a DJ? Cause I know somebody that can lay down some sick beats.”

“We’re not hiring DJ DoubleD.”

Janet pushed Arthur to the side and used herheftychest to hold him in place. “You hire the girls—” She looked down at her breasts. “Or I tell Mom about all those stiff socks growing up.”

I lifted my pant leg and studied the argyle pattern on my socks. Had I bought the wrong socks? Were they supposed to stand on their own? I’d need to ask my life coach to explain it.

Arthur fought his way free, and Janet chased him down the hall. My co-workers were nothing like the overly caffeinated college students at Coffee! Coffee! Coffee! It had been six months working here, and the more I learned about Earth’s customs, the more these fragile creatures didn’t make sense.

“Earthlings, am I right?” Drew asked me lots of questions about my home world. He meant well, but it always saddened me to know I was the single Halorian on Earth, and more so, I had almost no memories of the planet I came from. When I didn’t reply, he jumped to his feet and patted me on the back. “I mean, you’re an Earthling, too. You live here. Of course, you’re an Earthling.”

His upbeat attitude left me smiling. “Thanks, Drew.”

A decade on the planet, and I still didn’t quite belong. I moved to Vanguard to be surrounded by supers, people with abilities like me. They were like the people of Halo, but it didn’t quite fill that void. I’d need to call my Earth Mom later and see if she had any advice for this loneliness filling my chest.

“Fancy party.” Drew bumped into me with his hips. “You know what that means.”

I smiled. I did, indeed.

Drew knew my secret. It gave me something to look forward to. “Fancy Cheese.”

“Good luck today.”

Drew exited, leaving me alone in the break room, wiggling my butt in the old dining room chair. The padding had all but worn away. Still, the familiarity made me smile.

“Today will be a most excellent day.”

2

Our video conferenceentered hour three.

“Then, which button do we click?” asked Artemis.

“Maybe we should stick to how we’ve been doing it for years,” said Dynamo.

In front of me, a dozen holographic screens hung in the air, each with the face of a confused superhero. Several of them clicked buttons faster than I could explain, while others acted as if they could speak to their phones. I feared my inexperience with hero customs would make introducing them to the app difficult. However, if these were Earth’s defenders, I understood why my planet sent me as an emissary.

“I’m sending out a test alert. The red V will appear on your screen.”

I pushed a button on my phone. I listened as each of their phones dinged. Two of the heroes jumped to their feet and dashed off as if there were a villain in the next room. I’d call them back later.

“When you click the button, it’ll show a map of the city and the villain’s location. Click their photo and claim the save. Thatway, all the heroes won’t gather in one place. If they’re tough, you can click the request assistance button.”

They each grew quiet as they pushed buttons. It shouldn’t have been a complicated task. I spent the first hour showing them how to turn on their cameras and microphones. I understood why Orion refused to train heroes. He’d have stormed off hours ago.

“Can I use this to find a date? Like, another local hero?”

“Gigantica, that’s not what the app is for.”

She shrugged. “That’s not a no.”

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