Page 2 of Gone Away Home

Color me fucking surprised as hell when he was dropping a six-month relationship bomb into my lap in the middle of Millie’s Diner like it was a normal occurrence. It wasn’t. It was far from fucking normal. I would have been happy for him, honestly, but he had to choose theonewoman who was also the mother of theoneperson I wanted and was waiting for.

I was a fucking mess with only a few words, and I was struggling not to show it.

“Dustin,” Janice’s voice pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts, and I looked at her to find her giving me a small smile full of understanding, “I’m sure this is a shock to you. I want you to know I have no intention of replacing your mom in your life or in Thad’s heart. I understand he will always love her. I think our hearts grow to make room for new people without forgetting those who can’t be in our lives anymore.”

“Oh, honey,” Dad’s voice broke a little bit, and he placed a tender kiss on her temple.

She beamed up at him before looking at me again and then at Zayla. Her voice was soft as she spoke to her daughter, “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, but we wanted to make sure everything was going to work out between us. I know this is probably a shock,” she glanced between the two mute teenagers, “for both of you.”

Dad helped usher Janice into the seat next to him which left Zayla no choice but to sit, stiffly, on my side of the table. She was so close I could feel the cozy heat coming off her body. It took somuch fucking effort not to wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her into my side the same way Dad was doing with Janice.

But I couldn’t.

It dawned on me slowly; their revelation changed everything. Fucking everything.

The plans I had. The feelings I couldn’t ignore. The time I had wasted waiting to give her the time I was sure she needed.

It changed how I felt and looked at everything.

My chest was aching and the only thing I could do was stare at the table. I’m sure it looked like I was pissed about Dad being with someone, but I wasn’t. I wanted him to be happy and I was very aware it would only be a few short years before I would leave the house. No, he deserved to find love again, but what was impossible to swallow aswhohe had found love with.

It just had to be her. The one woman in Jasper Ridge that I desperately didn’t want it to be, even though I had never met her before.

“I’m glad you’re happy, Mom,” Zayla’s voice was soothing even as it grated against the deepest part of my soul.

“I’m,” Janice cleared her throat and started again, “we’re very happy.”

“Which is why,” there was a note of disapproval in Dad’s voice which I knew was directed at me, but it felt like I was falling to pieces and all my energy was devoted to not becoming a rage tornado in the middle of the diner, “I’ve asked Janice to marry me.”

My head snapped up and I stared at Dad because I must have misheard him.

I didn’t.

Everything moved quickly after that. They were married in the middle of summer and by the time the next school year came around, we had been living in the same house together for weeks.

I was lost and I rebelled, but I never, not fucking once, took out my pain on my sister.

Stepsister.

It’s not like I was going to fuck up the life Dad was building for himself. There was no way I could do that to him, even though it felt like I was dying every single day I spent with Zayla under the same roof in some sick pantomime of being a happy family.

The day I graduated, I joined the military and left Jasper Ridge. I haven’t been back in 14 years, but I can’t stay away any longer. Not after the close call I had on one of my last missions, the same one which had me sending my friend’s ‘just in case’ letter home to his wife and kids.

Life is too short, and I’ve been denying what I need to be happy for too long. All because I was more afraid of what people were going to think of me than my own feelings.

My phone rings as I turn onto the street where Zayla lives. I might not have been home, but I’ve kept up with my woman as much as I could. I’m aware of how many guys she’s tried to date, and that those attempts at relationships didn’t go far. Finding out where she lives was easy.

“Hey, Noel,” I greet one of my best friends from my time in the military.

He got out a few years before me and went back to Montana where he’s part owner of a horse ranch with his brothers. We might not be in a unit together anymore, but we have kept up with each other’s lives. Noel is one of the few people who knows exactly why I came back to Jasper Ridge.

“I know you’re probably close to your girl’s house if you’re not there already. I just wanted to check in before I can’t reach you for a few days because I know you won’t want to come up for air once you get her where you want her,” there’s amusement in his voice.

But he’s fucking right.

“I’m just about to pull up to her place,” I chuckle, “and you’re right. I’m going dark for a few days.” As I pull up in front of her home, my nerves hit me full force. “Fuck,” I mutter, my voice shaking slightly. I clench my jaw to try and get myself under control and grit out, “Do you really think I’m doing the right thing? It’s been a long fucking time.”

I think back to the letters she wrote me for the first five years after I enlisted. The first couple I didn’t answer; I couldn’t. I was afraid I would read her delicate handwriting on the page and run halfway across the globe just to reach her.

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