Page 16 of Gone Away Home

How the hell did I survive without her in my life for the last 14 years? At first, with the letters, it was like I could pretend she was still around. But then when those stopped, I felt the loss of it. Maybe, by then, I had compartmentalized enough to be able to get through the days.

But I wasn’t happy. I knew it too. Most of the people aroundme knew it, but they were smart enough not to question me about it or push. The truth of the matter is I wasn’t ready to accept what I knew was true. I couldn’t face how I had run away instead of standing and fighting. Now? I’ll fight until my last breath to make sure I have Zayla in my life.

She’s more than the air I breathe. She’s suffused every single part of my being with her light. There’s no way I would survive a single day without her.

The good thing is I won’t have to.

My phone ringing pulls my focus away from the stir fry I’m working on since my girl was craving something a little spicy. I’m going to knock her socks off, but she doesn’t need to know that. Speaking of, I hope she’s wearing those damn socks which go all the way up to her knees again.

Fuck. My cock hardens in my pants at the memory of how she snuggled up to me on the couch last night only wearing those damn socks and one of my t-shirts.

Seeing that it’s Dad calling, I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I’m a little surprised I’ve been able to avoid him so far considering the size of Jasper Ridge. I suppose it helps that I haven’t gone many places, preferring to stay in with Zayla and make up for lost time.

“Hi, Dad,” my smile is as forced as my tone, but it’s about all I have in me right now.

While I did tell Zayla that I understand where she’s coming from about being wary of how people are going to see our relationship, I’m not going to hide her for much longer. There is no fucking way I’m going to treat her like some dirty little secret. I’m not going to disrespect her or the love between us like that.

“Dustin,” I can hear a note of disappointment in his voice, and I glance toward Zayla’s office because it’s clear he knows I’m home. He clears his throat, but it doesn’t clear his tone, “I heard something interesting around town today.”

I try and sound innocent, “Oh?”

“Yes,” his voice is a rich drawl, “I was with Janice making sure she has everything for Thanksgiving dinner. You know it’s in a few days, right?”

“I’m aware of when Thanksgiving is,” I sound suspicious, even to my own ears.

“Well, we were in the grocery store, and someone approached us gushing about how happy we must be about our prodigal, military man son returning home. Suffice to say,” he pauses for dramatic effect, and I barely stop myself from rolling my eyes, “we were shocked.”

I make a humming sound in the back of my throat before admitting, “I am in Jasper Ridge.”

What I don’t say is I’m with my woman and won’t be home, as in their house, beyond them being family and wanting to make sure Zayla has people at her back. She’s the only person I really need; she’s my priority.

“Why didn’t you let us know you were coming home? Are you on leave? When are you coming by? How long have you even been back?” I can hear the heavy breath he takes, his questions becoming increasingly tinged with anger. It’s clear he’s trying to pull back his emotions, probably afraid I’ll pull another runner if he’s not careful, but it’s not going to happen. His voice softens, “Janice was really hurt to find out you’re in town but hadn’t been by. Can’t say I’m thrilled to find out the way we did either,” headds on, going for a double pronged approach to laying on the guilt.

“Dad,” my voice is stern, “that was a bunch of questions. I’m sorry Janice’s feelings were hurt, but she’s not my priority here in Jasper Ridge.” I let that line of information drop there because it’s all I’m offering at the moment while I circle back to his other questions. “I’m not on leave. I’ve chosen to be discharged. It was time and I’m happy about my decision. I’ve been back for a little while and the only reason I haven’t come by is because I’ve been busy. I needed to take care of some things and find a job, which I’ve done. I wasn’t trying to ignore you, but I just needed to get my life squared away first.”

My life and Zayla’s life.

The way my heart is pounding in my chest is the only giveaway at how truly nervous I am. While I was growing up, Dad was my hero. In so many ways it’s still true. Sure, there were some hard years, especially when he married Janice, but that wasn’t really about him.

It was all about me and my regrets. I beat myself up for a long time because I waited to make Zayla mine instead of going after her the first day I saw her. If I had, maybe our parents wouldn’t have gotten together. But, then again, they deserve to be happy too.

The conflicting emotions are hard to reconcile, even now. They were nearly impossible when I was a teenager while feeling like the future that I had been dreaming about for months was snatched away from me before I could even start to make it a reality.

Dad huffs, almost like he’s speechless and I smile. It’s not easy to render him at a loss for words, but I’ve managed it. Hopefully,he braces himself, because if what I’m expecting is about to happen does happen then he’s going to be fucking floored.

As long as Zayla isn’t hurt by his reaction to us being together, he’s entitled to his feelings. But I won’t tolerate any shit rolling her way. Not on my fucking watch.

“You really got out?” I make a sound of agreement that has him whooshing out a breath of air. I can picture him sitting back in his chair with a look of surprise on his face. “I thought you’d be in for life and make it a lifelong career. Even though it wouldn’t have been my choice for you, and I was surprised when you enlisted, you know I’m proud of you, right?”

“I know Dad,” I whisper, emotion clogging my throat.

He’s never been the kind of man to hold back his feelings. Sure, he struggled with them, especially when I was younger, but he always made sure to tell me when he was proud of me. Of course, he also told me when he was disappointed and down right pissed at me too.

“Wow,” he chuckles. “Wait,” his voice is stronger and no longer as surprised, “you said you were looking for a job?”

“I said I found a job, Dad,” I point out gently, “I’ll be working with Jasper at Precision Point Shooting Range.” I chuckle, “I had no idea Mr. Porter wasn’t running the place and had finally passed it down.”

Dad barks out a laugh which has me grinning. “Yeah, it’s been a few years now. Did you know that Jasper closes for more than just Thanksgiving and Christmas now?”

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