Page 10 of Gone Away Home

Being able to see a little bit of nervousness after he’s been so confident with a take-charge attitude is endearing. My heart isswooning all over the place. Just like that Dustin steals another little piece of my soul. I wasn’t even aware there were more pieces left for him to snag as his own.

While I dump a healthy—okay, overly healthy—amount of sugar into my coffee and top it off with a splash of creamer, Dustin watches me with an intense amusement which has me wanting to squirm in my chair. Only when I take a sip and let out a sigh of contentment does he seem to relax, his moss green eyes twinkling with something I’m not ready to analyze. Not yet anyway.

“Zayla,” his voice is low and soothing, making me want to close my eyes and soak up the promises on the tip of his tongue, “I’m not staying with our parents. I came here for you. If I’m moving too fast, then you can say it, and I’ll find somewhere to stay. I will warn you though, it won’t stop me from coming at you with everything I have. I’ve waited too damn long to make you mine.” He arches an eyebrow, the challenge written all over his face, “And you are mine. You let me inside your body. I might not have been sure before, but now I know you let me into your heart a long time ago.”

I swallow hard as tears sting the backs of my eyes. It’s not easy for all the feelings I’ve tried to bury in the shadows for so long to now be yanked out into the light. When the warmth of his hand covers mine, my eyes snap open and I meet his gaze. He’s looking at me with so much concern and love. It would be so easy to forget all my fears.

I nibble on my lip, so many questions rolling around in my head. What are people going to think? What are they going to say about us? Where do we go from here? How do we navigate this when it’s so new and not at the same time?

“What are our parents going to say?” The most important question, the one I fear the most, spills from me.

Dustin’s eyes soften as he picks up my hand to unfurl my fingers from the fist that I wasn’t even aware I was making. He kisses the center of my palm before his lips meet each finger one at a time.

“This is going to sound harsh, and maybe it is,” he doesn’t look away, he forces me to see his sincerity and his heart, “but I don’t care. I know, logically, I should. But I just don’t. They can have a problem with us being together or they can get over it and accept the fact that they got in our way.” I open my mouth to defend them, but he shakes his head, and my jaw snaps shut. “It might not sound fair, and they had no idea, but they did get in our way. They put their happiness first without really thinking about ours. No, I don’t begrudge them that since they weren’t operating with all the intel, and they do deserve to be happy. But we deserve to be happy too, Zayla.”

“I want to be happy,” I whisper. I swallow past the lump in my throat and feel a tear slide down my cheek. Dustin reaches up and brushes it away with his thumb. It’s such a simple thing, but at the same time it’s everything. “I’m sorry I stopped writing to you. I shouldn’t have stopped.”

His hand moves toward his ribs and his fingers rub the words there reverently as he graces me with a small smile. “It’s okay, sweetheart. I understood, and I don’t blame you. You have no idea how much your letters helped me, but it was difficult for me every time I got one too. It’s why I didn’t write back right away when you sent the first one, but then I knew it wasn’t fair to ignore you. Almost every time I got a letter, I would tell myself it would be the last time I’d respond, but then another letter would come.”

“Until they didn’t,” my voice sounds pained.

“It’s okay, Zayla,” there’s no resentment in his voice, no anger, not even hurt. “I understood and I still do.” I swear a blush colors the tips of his ears and the apples of his cheeks. “I never stopped writing you.”

My mouth falls open and I sputter, “Wh-what do you mean? I didn’t get any letters.”

“I never sent them,” he murmurs. “I wrote to you in a journal, one I always kept with me. I would sit down and write to you on my worst and best days.”

I blink at him a few times, my voice small, “You did?”

He nods, a small smile playing on his lips. “I did. You helped me keep going and you had no idea. You were always what I was fighting for, training for, my entire reason to keep putting one foot in front of the other. Then, one day, I was writing you a letter and realized I needed to stop using you to keep fighting and start fightingforyou. Because I never forgot, and my feelings never changed. I denied what I wanted most in this entire universe because of fear and it was time to stop.”

“No more fear,” it feels like a vow as I speak the words. One I won’t break. One I can’t break.

“No more fear,” he echoes. His eyes snag mine and hold. “I love you so much, Zayla. I’ve loved you for so long that it feels like forever and no time at all. I’m not giving up on us and I fully intend to move in here with you when you’re ready. I’m all in.”

My mouth is bone dry as I absorb his words. I squeak, “You love me?”

Dustin’s smile is so big that one dimple pops out. Fuck, I always loved that dimple. “I’ve always loved you and it isn’tgoing to stop anytime soon. No more fear,” he reminds me almost like he’s throwing down the gauntlet.

“I love you too, Dustin,” I breathe out, “I always have.”

“I know,” he cheekily responds and winks.

The laughter that bubbles out of me is just on this side of unhinged, but it feels so damn good I can’t find it in me to care. Is this really happening? It feels so surreal, but if it’s not real then I’d rather stay here than go back to the sad, lonely reality I was experiencing.

“Now,” his voice drops an octave, “eat your food before it gets even colder.”

I nod, a smile on my face I don’t think will ever fade. As we tuck into our food, the conversation is lighter. We fill each other in on what we’ve been up to, and it feels normal, comfortable. He doesn’t bring up moving in again and I let the thought roll around in the back of my mind.

Do I want him to leave, even just to sleep somewhere else? No. I don’t think I do.

If he’s all in, then I am too.

CHAPTER 5

DUSTIN

Zayla frowns at me when I walk into her office, again, but I can’t help it. We’ve been wrapped around each other for a few days now and I don’t want to be away from her. Not after I spent the last 14 years running from her and my feelings.

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