Page 5 of Ceridor

"Please, call me Ceridor."

He nodded.

Effie's bright demeanor had grown subdued. "Those were happier times. I wish we could visit."

The three of us fell silent a long moment. In the fifteen years since the last playdate, both our mothers had passed from illness.

Effie excused herself to the restroom and Johannes spoke up. "I've wondered about you ever since. Mother said she'd heard from your mother that you were studying at a monastery."

I nodded. A servant brought my dinner and I tucked in. "Father didn't approve of my wanting to become a bard, so Mother moved back in with her parents and brought Magnusuntil they could finalize a divorce. I went to study at Diana Monastery in Helvetica. They taught me more official bardic studies and lots of memory techniques. After five years there, I felt like I could strike out on my own."

The monks there had also taught me esoteric western paganism. And magic, the same magic I used for my disguises, but I didn't share that with the young prince.

"Are you happy?" Johannes asked, catching me by surprise. "Do you have a wife waiting for you somewhere?"

I found it strange that he equated the two things—happiness and being tied to someone—but I answered him honestly all the same. "I'm doing well enough, and no, I don't have a partner. My profession is too demanding. Though I wish I had a husband."

That took a moment to sink in, then Johannes's eyes grew very wide in recognition.

"Th-that," he stammered, then cleared his throat and started over. "M-me too. My mother helped me to understand it when I became a teenager. She said that in the larger cities in Helvetica it was treated like no big deal."

I smiled and patted his shoulder, just like I used to, though Johann was now definitely a fully grown man. "She was right. We're treated just like anyone else, even in the more remote areas, though it depends on the village."

"That's wonderful," he replied.

His gaze lingered on mine for a long moment and I struggled to breathe. Finally my brain caught up and I realized Johann wasn't the only one experiencing a sudden and unexpected attraction. Desire flushed his cheeks as he scanned me, unabashed, and my skin tingled as if he were coasting his fingertips all over me.

"I had the biggest crush on you when I was little," he whispered, his eyes looking off into a different time. "I all butworshipped at your feet. It wasn't until I became a teenager that I realized what that meant."

I blinked at him. "What did it mean?"

He jumped in his seat and snapped out of his reverie. "Entschuldigung—excuse me, that was inappropriate."

I still wasn't sure of the point he was trying to make, and though I harbored a guess, I didn't want to assume. Instead I patted his knee and smiled at him. "You always were my biggest fan aside from Mother."

That seemed to do the trick—Johann lit with joy. "I'd known for sure you'd make it as a bard, and you have!"

His enthusiasm was infectious and for a moment we just beamed at each other.

Effie returned and, while I ate, she peppered me with questions about what it was like working as a bard, how far I'd traveled, and how I'd come to my calling. All the while I felt Johann's eyes on me, but whenever I'd turn to glance his way, he'd jump and bashfully stare at his tea, his cheeks flushed red.

Johann was fully grown, having filled out his bulk. From observing his muscled tone and his athletic posture, it was clear he trained. But I could not believe what my lying eyes were telling me. If I weren't mistaken, his furtive glances and soft brushing of my shoulder whenever one of us moved were indications that he was indeed attracted to me.

That shift in perspective settled over me as Effie drew my attention back and asked something about the legends of theNibelungenlied, but I continued to feel Johann's gaze. He was an adult now: twenty-one, the same age as Magnus. It had never occurred to me that we could have an adult relationship, but I found that I was willing when I took a moment to consider it. I knew that he was a good soul who had grown into a strong and good man. If I was what he wanted, then I would bask in his desire and let him come in pursuit.

As dinner ended, Johann touched my thigh in question and I turned to him, feeling my cheeks burning now after all this build up.

"Shall I show you to your room?" he offered.

"Wunderbar, danke," I answered in kind.

Effie bid us goodnight and Johann led me to a room just down from his and that of his twin's, then told me where to find the toilets and bathing facilities.

"Thank you, Johann," I said, then waited as I noticed him lingering in the hallway, clearly hesitating.

"W-would..." He coughed into his fist and cleared his throat. "Would you like to come to my room? I can call for some of the honeyed alpine tea we're famous for. There's an herbal one we drink at night to help us sleep."

"Just tea?" I asked, unable to resist teasing him.

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