"I will," I promised, nodding against him. "Thank you."
Ceridor smiled, then when we separated he leaned in and kissed my forehead. The tenderness of that act nearly broke me, and finally after such an awful day my eyes burned with tears. Ceridor gave me his handkerchief as he piled us into bed. I settled into his arms, hot tears leaking onto his sleeping shirt. Ceridor kissed my hair and petted the back of my neck, resting his cheek against the top of my head. I kept crying untilhis breathing evened out in sleep, then as if on cue, my body followed him and exhaustion pulled me under.
Chapter Twelve
Johann
In the gray light of dawn I felt Ceridor slide from my embrace. I heard him changing into his clothes and that fully woke me. Suddenly the cold terror of abandonment zapped me awake in fear that he would leave on his travels right away, without even saying goodbye.
"Where are you going?" I whispered harshly, unable to hold back the accusation in my tone.
Ceridor jumped with a soft yip and froze with his fingers still on the buttons of his shirt. We stared at each other a moment until he shook himself free of the shock and found his answer. "I mentioned yesterday I learned magic at Diana Monastery. There's a ritual we perform daily, and seeing as I can't exactly do that inside someone else's inn without permission, instead I go into the forest. This ritual is subtle enough to not disturb anything, and I've obtained permission from the local dryads."
I blinked at him. It was like he wasn't speaking Helvetican German anymore, and I couldn't quite process what language he'd switched into. But then my love of mythology and folklore kicked in, and it started to make sense. Like the mages of old, Ceridor was going into the forest to practice magic that blessed the world around him. And as was only polite, he'd first asked permission from the guardian spirits of the wooded area and its trees.
"I'm going with you," I said, flinging the blanket aside and getting up.
Ceridor blinked at me, once again frozen. "What for?"
"I want to learn magic too, after I finish all the trauma books I need," I answered, hustling into the set of clothes he'd left out for me.
"But you don't have to?" protested the beautiful man still fumbling with his shirt. "And it's a lot of work. It took me five years full-time at the monastery just to get the hang of it."
"I'm not saying this so you'll agree to be my boyfriend," I explained. It was a bit harsh, but I wanted to get that out of the way in case he was thinking it. "Ulbrecht studies magic to connect with the lantern gods—he wouldn't do anything unless it helped him to be a good king, and I want to be just like him. I can't marry the Danube River like he did, since I want to be with you, but I can at least do this."
But Ceridor seemed stuck on my prior words. "So rumors of the lanterns have reached as far as West Danube," he said, as if to himself.
I confirmed with a grunt and finished getting dressed.
The inn was up and bustling with the breakfast rush in full swing.
"Johann!" Effie chirruped, leaning over the kitchen counter to give me a kiss on the cheek.
An elderly woman nodded from back by the oven. "I'm Hilda. A set of twins for apprentices is a blessing indeed."
"Nice to meet you, madam," I said with a bow. "Thank you for taking us in."
"Sicher," she confirmed. "I can see you're headed out. Be back by dinnertime so I can teach you how to take care of things. I'll set Effie up for the early shift with me, and then I'll have you close down the inn at night and make sure no one rambunctiously drunk gets in here."
"I'll be happy to," I answered, then sighed gratefully when my sister handed us steaming cups of honeyed tea, the same tea that West Danube was known for.
I stared at the golden liquid for a long moment and reconciled myself to the fact that I wouldn't see my home for a while, but Effie and I could create a new home here in East Helvetica. I took a sip and closed my eyes, feeling the weight of my loyalty to the kingship I'd lost and resolving to make my separation from West Danube only temporary. I would hide away here and help my sister build a new life for herself while I worked through the manuals on child abuse. I'd work on myself and grow stronger, then I'd go to Ulbrecht and take him up on his offer to let me fight for him, and possibly regain my crown in the process.
Ceridor and I took a moment to drink down the tea and let it warm us into full consciousness. My sister's cheeks were rosy as she bounced around the kitchen to Hilda's instructions of grabbing this and putting it there, take these and return them over there. Effie was so perky, you wouldn't know that her prior life had ended only yesterday. And yet Princess Alodia had never been a fan of the destiny decided for her, her lot in life to be handed off in a political marriage against her will. I was so glad to see her happy and productive.
"Danke," I said, placing the empty cup back on the counter. When Ceridor finished his tea, he cocked his head toward the door. I took his hand and we headed out.
Ceridor
By the time we made it to the forest, Effie's delicious West Danubian honeyed tea had run through us and so Johann and I first had to piss in the woods before I led him to the area where I did my morning magical practice.
Johann's brown eyes danced with curiosity, his hair mussed from sleep and taking flight in places. I carded my fingers through the waves to try to tame them but that seemed to do the opposite. He giggled and smooched my lips, but I sent him a look that said we meant business out here—no time for fooling around in these woods.
Though even just yesterday his life had fallen apart, Johann stood tall with his shoulders back, his stature just a bit shorter than mine, though maybe he would grow a bit more now that his body wasn't under so much stress. His tan skin and rosy flushed cheeks made him look like his mother, whereas Effie had inherited her blond curls from their father's side of the family. Johann's pink lips quirked in a half smile as he shoved his hands in his pockets, regarding me. Then he cocked his dark brow as if to ask what I was waiting for, so I went ahead.
"Focus into your senses, and see whether you can see anything as I go through," I instructed. "In the metaphysics I learned at Diana Monastery, humans have three bodies: physical; etheric, otherwise known as the life force; and astral, or the aura. We only have a starter sheath rather than a full body on the mental plane. The goal of material existence as humans is to fully build out that mental body so we can leave physical incarnation and reunite permanently with our immortal souls. Etheric and astralperception is something humans are capable of, but ever since the Industrial Revolution it's been widely believed that only gifted people can do this."
He nodded, furrowing his brows in concentration. "Got it."