I felt Awariye slump against me, his weight getting heavy as the moment ended.
"How about a nap?" I suggested. "Fresh blankets on the bed sound nice."
Wren and Ulbrecht stood, Wren catching his lover's elbow. "What are you up to now, Uli? Shall I go check on the lanterns?"
In reply, Ulbrecht stooped and in a flash hauled Wren over his shoulder and carried him off to a chorus of surprised squawking.
Awariye and I had both jumped at the sudden change of events and stared in shock, but as the door closed, Awariye looked down at me with fire in his eyes.
"I could give that to you, if you wanted," he offered, sending a bolt of desire through me. "Ulbrecht tells Wren he loves the ache in his muscles from getting fucked. If you want me to fuck you, to have you feel me when I'm not there..."
I stared at him in wonder. It had been so long since I'd felt a lover's touch, and holding Awariye as he slept for two weeks had brought home to me how lonely I was. I had been hiding that realization from myself.
"And you?" I asked softly. "You could have me, but could I also have you?"
He smiled gently, locked onto me, and I preened under his attention. "Sure. You can have me also."
Before I could ask when or inquire as to his health to get an idea of a time to come soon, his face drained of color and his eyes widened in shock. "I did not mean to share such intimate information about the king."
I shook my head. "Everything you tell me stays secret. I know that you and Wren talk. You're close friends. To be honest, Wren is isolated here, in completely new surroundings, right after losing everything from his life before at the monastery. I'm so glad he has you for the winter. Though he puts on a brave face, we could all tell he was struggling. I could see that Ulbrecht was distracted and worried about him, stressed that Wren wouldn't like it here."
Awariye ran his fingers through my hair, then leaned down enough to kiss my forehead, making me close my eyes. It was a return of the caresses I’d give him as he drifted away into sleep.
Nothing more was said. Awariye got up and his fatigue was apparent. I stood nearby as he wobbled around, brushing his teeth and using the facilities down the hall. By the time he slid under the fresh sheets, he looked utterly exhausted.
He flopped onto his pillow, the beautiful waves of his hair splaying out a bit and tempting me to comb my fingers through it. I settled alongside, propped up on an elbow and above the blankets for the time being since I tended to overheat. With practiced movements we fit against each other, Awariye's eyelids already shuttering as he struggled to stay awake.
"I wish you could travel with me, when I go," he whispered. "You could be my guard. We could stay together. But I would never dream of asking you to choose me over Ulbrecht, not to mention I can barely afford to feed myself."
I cupped his cheek and kissed his brow, just a peck. "I will not leave my king, not until we have held this ground and earned a lasting peace. But in those days of peace, if they should come, I will go with you. Even when I am not there, my heart will be at your side, sweet bard. You have reminded me of the love that Kristoff taught me how to hold and give, my Awariye."
That seemed to heal him. "Thank you," he whispered as he drifted off.
CHAPTERTEN
AWARIYE
Something licked my hand, and I pried my eyes open, feeling surprisingly well rested and eager to get out of bed.
The world's goofiest-looking dog slathered my hand with kisses. His eyes bugged out a bit from his wrinkled face and his forearms and shoulders were spotted like a cow. He was very large, like one of those Great Danes from historic records, but clearly mixed with all kinds of other things.
"Leave him alone, Bello," Wren whispered from behind me.
That tickled me and I giggled, my shoulders shaking.
Wren leaned over me, mirth in his eyes. "Sorry, did he wake you? He wants to come up on the bed. Bello behaves himself around Mindi, the trainer. But when it's just me, he's back to being a menace."
"He can come up here if he's not dirty," I offered.
"He shouldn't be," Wren said, though his tone was unsure. "He carries the little princess around on his back all the time."
One tap on the bed and my arms filled with a gigantic dog.
"Bello!" Wren shouted as I shrieked and tried to hold back the wild thing from utterly clobbering me.
We finally got him to settle down and by then I was well awake.
I wanted to get up and have an active day before I crashed again, so Wren stayed nearby in case I got dizzy while I washed up quick. We had a nice breakfast of warmMüsliin the kitchen, chit-chatting about the monastery but not getting deep into things with so many people nearby who could overhear.