Page 12 of Awariye

"How long has it been?" I asked.

"Your fever broke two days ago," said Igor, a bit more worry in his voice now that I had probably just repeated a question whose answer I kept forgetting.

Then it was back down, onto the bed that was soft, but I longed for the strength to get up and around and eat solid food. Igor pulled the blanket over me, tucking it into my sides. I could tell while sleeping that he was there, always there, either spooned behind me or at my side. This man had given of himself in ways I couldn't possibly understand, having never received such generosity before from someone not related to me.

He'd been quite the gentleman also, to give me my privacy by means of the blanket around me and then hugging me through that. This was a good thing, considering if I could more directly feel his body, then I would start getting carried away with other ideas. If I could feel the contours of those muscles, the hair on his arms and legs, and—bless me—his cock nestled up against my bum, I wouldn't be able to think about much of anything else.

Igor leaned over me with affection in his eyes. He reached up and brushed my surely wild hair away from my forehead. "Still awake? You've been dropping off to sleep as soon as you drink the medicine."

I would fall asleep soon, I could tell. But I had to air some things out so I would have something soothing to occupy my dreams.

"Why are you so kind to me?" I asked, my heart in my throat.

Igor looked sad, his brows furrowing together. "You keep asking that.Warum—why—is this wrong?"

I shook my head. "No—I love it. I just...you don't know me from some stranger on the street. I've never had anyone be so kind to me, not since my parents when I was really little."

The instructors at the monastery had certainly raised me up, but they were hardly parents; more like teachers who were fair to me and invested their time but never let their emotions get involved.

"Wren loves you," said Igor gently, still caressing my hair.

I nodded, smiling sleepily. "I love him too. We're friends from way back." Igor's smile held such gentleness in it, it made me ache. "But you don't know me, Igor. Why are you being so kind to me?"

His hand stilled as he deliberated his answer. "Can you blame me?" he finally said, voice soft as a whisper. "I have a beautiful man in my bed, and I'm in a position to help him return to health, give him something he needs."

I held back from reading further into his words, even though I really, really wanted to. "That must be rare,hm?"

"It's a first for me since Kristoff," he replied easily. "I will remember this forever."

I warmed at his honesty, then reached up and cupped his cheek in my palm. His stubble scraped my skin and thrilled me. I wanted to feel that stubble against my lips. I wanted to feel it brushing my chest, my stomach, the insides of my thighs.

Igor's eyes widened in surprise as I petted his face somewhat awkwardly, but I wanted to touch him so badly I didn't care. Then he melted and smiled down at me, indulgence in his gaze that melted me too.

"You're so sweet, Awariye," said Igor, and I smiled at the way my name bumbled around in his mouth, like he'd been practicing saying it, but it still felt foreign to him.

I skated my fingertips down his jaw and neck to his chest, where I clenched my fist in his linen tunic. "I don't want to sleep now," I complained, fading fast. "I want to talk to you."

Igor chuckled with his whole body, rumbling deep in his chest and grinning with mirth. "Sleep for now. When you feel better we can talk more."

But my heart forced me to say more. I couldn’t bear to keep this inside. “Thank you for everything you’ve done for me, Igor. I feel so safe in your arms.”

It took a moment for him to reply, and I was shy enough about it I couldn’t look up and check his face. Then he tightened his arms around me and hugged me tight. “Thank you, Awariye. Don’t worry, I will stay. Sleep now.”

He left the candle going, and as I lost my grip on consciousness and sunk into the bed, boneless, I felt him wrap around me and kiss my hair. Begging my mind to remember that kiss, I dropped off.

CHAPTERNINE

IGOR

Down the hall from our room, I heard the joyful tinkling of laughter and recognized Awariye and Wren teasing each other. Just the sound of their delight lifted the heavy worry in my chest over the warm winter and what that might mean in terms of border raids. Pushing that thought aside for now, I rapped my knuckles on the door and went in, wanting to smile and laugh with them if I could.

Sigrid was changing the bedding, so I moved over to help her and caught sight of Wren and Awariye off to the side. Awariye looked exhausted but happy, leaning against Wren with his head tilted onto his friend's shoulder. The two held hands, their fingers interweaving. Wren was telling some story about the stodgy instructors at the monastery and how the younger monks would poke fun.

I watched how the two friends loved and adored each other, and something clicked into place that I'd taken notice of the past few weeks with Awariye here. Ulbrecht, my king, whom I watched like a hawk and loved with every part of my being, had also taken notice of things like this and would watch for a long time, never saying anything. It was no secret that Ulbrecht was absolutely, wholly in love with Wren. To see Wren so ecstatic to have Awariye here, and being so close with him, must bring some inner conflict to my king. Ulbrecht surely wanted his lover happy, and yet these intimate gestures between the two monks might make him wonder, or at least the thought must cross his mind, whether he should step aside.

At that moment, Ulbrecht came into the room, but unlike me, who still hesitated in front of them, not wanting to intrude and instead helping Sigrid with the bedding, Ulbrecht settled on the bench next to his lover and draped an arm around Wren's shoulders. The two monks allowed it easily, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"We're just having a bit of fun chatting," said Wren, "plus Awariye's had both the medicine and the medicinal wine..."

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