Page 266 of Accidentally Under Your Tree

"I want more," she said, barely loud enough to hear.

"I want to give you more." I hoped she could see the truth of those words. That the word 'more' could be replaced with 'everything.'

Pressing my forehead to hers, I struggled with my shame. “I’m sorry, Lizzy.”

“I…understand.” Her acceptance brought me even lower—I would be underground soon.

I took in her swollen lips and the pink smear of her lipstick. Before I could change my mind, I took a step away. "You should leave first."

She tilted her head. For a moment, it looked like she might pull me back. And God knew I wouldn't resist her. But she slipped out, leaving me to pull upon every ounce of willpower I had not to follow her.

The coats swung on their hangers, and I wrestled with the possibility that I was making a huge mistake. Lying about my relationship with Rose might land us a streaming deal. But it could also cost me a chance with Lizzy.

The clock in Rose's, and my bedroom continued to tick. Before she'd fallen asleep in the bed, she'd whispered, "I think you'd be good for Anne."

After a half-second to remember that Anne was Lizzy, I asked with too much enthusiasm, "Why do you say that?"

"Well, Iknowshe'd be good for you. She'd help you plan better and be less spontaneous. Which obviously isn't a bad thing, but there's an argument that you and I could be more thoughtful."

"You mean like, not pretending to be your boyfriend for Internet clout?"

"Perfect example."

I grinned up at the ceiling. "Why would I be good for her, though?"

"You're loyal, and honest. And Anne deserves someone who is…captivated by her."

I was. She'd trapped me and I just wanted more of her captivity.

I swallowed, preparing myself. "I kissed her tonight."

"You did what?" Rose sat up in the bed to glare down at me.

"Yeah, I know. I'm a jackass."

"Yes, absolutely. But did she kiss you back?"

I thought of her fingers in my hair and her hungry mouth on mine. "Yeah."

"Wow." She fell back onto her pillow. "I might be wrong. You might be a terrible influence on her."

"Do you actually think that?"

“No, but you really are being a jackass.”

I didn’t bother to argue.

Rose fell asleep shortly afterward. I'd spent an unknown amount of time with my eyes closed, counting my breaths, praying for sleep. But it wouldn't come.

It was growing increasingly difficult in the quiet hours of the night to resist the urge to find Lizzy. To tap quietly on her closed door. To wait with held breath for her to allow me into her room. Praying to go unnoticed.

It was reckless. Getting caught fooling around with Lizzy would be immature at best. Her parents would never forgive me. It might salvage the situation if Rose and I came clean with her parents, but it wouldn't endear them to me. And my long game was to date Lizzy, to get to know her. Although we didn’t need their approval, it would help.

There was something right between Lizzy and me. Even if wanting her was sweet torture.

I knew the taste of her, the way she gasped at my touch. She was everything I craved. Needing her was in my veins like fire. There was no putting it out. I just had to withstand it.

I could.

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