Page 230 of Accidentally Under Your Tree

"Recently?"

She nodded, staring down at her empty glass. "And not recently."

"Since?"

"Yup."

"There hasn't been anyone since Lawrence?"

She pinched her lips to one side. Raising an eyebrow, she shook her head.

Staring into the middle distance, misery seated in the corners of her eyes. "He was there today. In the group with Olivia."

"You, okay?"

Swallowing the remaining contents of her drink, she shrugged. "I don't know if I have been in a long time."

I wanted to hug her, but the new rules of our relationship were unclear. Instead, I uttered an impotent,That sucks.

I turned her words over. Realizing just how much Rose had lost over one decision she'd made when she was eighteen. Lawrence and I had been load-bearing pillars of her support system. To have both of us knocked out from underneath her must have left her crumbling. While I'd been swallowed by depression and fear at my first life experience alone. So had she. It'd just shown differently.

But we were both keeping the world at arm's length.

The question remained…

Could I break the pattern?

I’d pulled my hair into a headache inducing bun, and the woman sitting next to me in the high school auditorium wore a too sweet perfume. My sweater dress was hot and itchy around my neck as the students in the orchestra played an extra melancholy and poorly timed,I'll be Home for Christmas.I'd considered staying home, but our cousin Violet played the flute. So, just like all the other dutiful friends and family members, I waited for the concert to end.

We all filed into the cafeteria afterwards for juice from an Igloo cooler with a spout at the bottom and store-bought sugar cookies. They had strung red and green streamers and balloons along the brown brick walls. Rose and Will lingered next to the entrance talking but not looking at each other, as if they were characters in a spy movie scoping out the place. They really did have terrible chemistry. It was a shock that their fans were hungry for a relationship between them.

I might be biased. Or I knew what Will was like when he liked someone—instead of just being a good friend.

I followed my parents, waving hello to old classmates and former teachers, until we were standing next to Violet and her friends. A girl with dark curly hair widened her eyes as she registered my face. But I couldn't imagine why. I didn't think I knew her.

"You all did such a good job!" Mom wrapped her niece in a hug.

"Thank you," Violet said, in her usual distracted way. Ever since she was little, she'd had a spacey way about her.

Her friend scrolled on her phone, then paused and showed the screen to a tall blond girl. They both looked at me. I stilled to resist fidgeting from one foot to the other. I couldn't fathom how I had become the center of their attention, and I knew from being one, teenage girls were terrifying.

Dad threw an arm around Violet's shoulders. "It was good."

"Thanks, Uncle Jim."

"Hey," the first girl stepped toward me, "you're Rose's sister, right? Rose fromWill it Bloom?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Are you like friends with Bill, too?"

Mom sent me a questioning look. I shrugged back, certain that my face was growing bright red. "Sure."

"Okay, 'cause I saw this adorable picture of you, and I was like, 'Oh my God, is he becoming besties with her sister too!' Like, could he be more perfect?"

My fingers tingled from adrenaline. In my chest, my heart pounded like a tiger was chasing me. "Picture?"

"I wouldn't call himperfect," Dad whispered to Mom, and she elbowed him in the ribs.

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