Page 175 of Accidentally Under Your Tree

It felt like more than a compromise about something pithy. It felt like common ground. It felt like there was space where I could be outgoing and ridiculous, and she could be prickly and quiet. There was room for both of us.

"We got all the way here, and I still don't know where to begin." Lizzy's voice echoed a bit in the mall's interior hallway, over the Christmas music.

"Gift shopping is like that, isn't it?" Jerking my head toward a bookstore, I grabbed her hand. "Let's just look around."

She trailed behind me through the open doors. The smell of coffee and baking cookies wafted in the air from the cafe to our right. Bookshelves covered the bulk of the floor space, but the music and game department were decent.

Lizzy paused to flip through a planner decorated in pastel colors and soft lines.

"Need a new planner?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No, I keep everything electronically. It's just pretty."

"Do you want it?"

"There's no point." She closed the cover and ran her hand over it. "I'd just own it to own it. I don't actually have a use for it."

I tilted my head, trying to get a better look at her face, to make sure I wasn't imagining the wistfulness in her voice. "Does everything have to have a purpose?"

"No, but planners should, I guess." She looked over her shoulder at the stacks of books. "Does she read much anymore?"

I allowed the change of subject. Shaking my head, I tried to remember if I'd ever seen Rose with a book in her hand. "I wouldn't say so."

"Hm, she used to."

"Do you read a lot?"

"As much as I can." There was a tone to her voice that brought me to a stop—a deep emotion barely restrained.

I turned to face her. She'd drawn in on herself going too still, just like she did that first night I met her. When she'd been nervous and without control. I tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, wrapping my other arm around her waist. Giving her whatever comfort I could. "You should get her the last book you liked."

Her lower lip slipped from between her teeth. "I don't know. Do you think she'd like it? Doesn't that seem like a,I didn't know what to get you,gift?"

"It seems like a way for her to get to know you again."

She looked more unsure than I'd ever seen her. Leaning forward, she rested her head on my chest, tucked perfectly under my chin. After a few breaths, she said in an unwavering voice. "I miss her."

Her temple was warm under my lips. "She misses you, too."

Just a few more beats passed before Lizzy straightened. "We should probably be more careful."

I wanted to pull her tight again, to tell her I didn't care. But my choices affected Rose too. I should have been more aware of my actions. I felt small, letting them both down in so many ways.

We should come clean. The thought sparked in my mind like the flip of a switch. The show and the fans be damned. But it wasn't a decision I could make on my own. Maybe Rose would at least consider telling her parents. It'd help to stop lying to them.

To be absolutely truthful with myself. With Lizzy.

Lizzy

Three nights before Christmas

Will and I arrived home from shopping just before Rose. I hurried to my bedroom to stuff my bags into the closet. As soon as she stepped through the garaged door, she began flitting around the kitchen.

"I found this recipe for a Christmas sangria. I'm gonna throw it together. You want some?" she offered her voice muffled from the other side of my wall.

"Should we get ready for the thing at the school?" Will asked.

"We have time. I could use a drink."

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