Page 285 of Accidentally Under Your Tree

"What are your feelings for Lizzy?"

Oh shit.

I leaned a hip against the workbench. Crossing my arms, I searched for the best way to explain. How much should I say?Whatshould I say? He waited in patient silence.

"We met the night before I got here." I searched every corner of my brain for the words to explain to him while also keeping my foot securely out of my mouth. "I like her a lot. More than I've liked anyone in a long time."

He paused in his task, his brow furrowed.

"I thought…we could…" I tried to continue, but my convoluted thoughts were unintelligible and half-formed explanations. "Date."

It was such an inadequate word for what I thought Lizzy and I could be. What else was I supposed to say to her dad?

Well, Jim, after just a few days of knowing your daughter, Lizzy, I want to devote the rest of them to her. But she doesn’t want the same.

"Anyway, last night she told me she's not interested in a relationship because of how public my life is."

His jaw set, and a line formed between his thick pale eyebrows.

I scraped my palm along my jaw. "I don't even blame her. It's gotten kinda crazy." Heat warmed my cheeks. "I've…It's as if, in chasing a modicum of fame and fortune, I've lost some sense of myself. Lately, my choices have been embarrassing at best. I am not exactly inspiring confidence at the moment."

"Would you give up the show for her?"

"Honestly, I'm questioning if I want it."

Jim fixed me with a glare. "You better figure out what you want or you're going to break both of my girls' hearts. Rose wants this show, and Lizzy clearly sees something in you."

The urge to ask him what he meant by that was hard to ignore, but he didn't seem like he'd be willing to explain. And asking would make me look desperate—which I was. But hopefully, he didn't know that.

"I understand," I said.

He grunted, setting back to the task at hand. "Sounds like you got a lot to think about."

I did.

We went back to assembling the bookshelf while not speaking. The quiet was a relief with my thoughts were so loud.

twenty-seven

Lizzy

Two nights before Christmas

"The coast is clear. Open your door," Rose said instead of knocking.

I leaned forward to set my laptop on my bedside table, my muscles and joints stiff from sitting with terrible posture against my headboard. With awkward rigid steps, I crossed my room.

She held a plate on the other side of the door piled high with chocolate chip and snickerdoodle cookies. For hours, enticing smells had seeped into my room, just like it did every year. I'd considered going into the garage to help Dad, but then I heard Will heading that way.

Instead, I watched Christmas specials of my favorite TV shows and texted Shay. She relayed that Lawrence was more withdrawn than usual. I'd had to tell her what had happened the day before. Rose was lucky there was a storm keeping Shay at her parents. But she wasn't holding back her angry texts. I didn't stop her. She was protective. With Rose and Lawrence's past, she had reason to be.

God only knew the hell Shay was giving him.

Rose and I were healing our relationship. But it was still clear she didn't know what she was doing. I didn't understand why she wouldn't be with him. They seemed like they were still in love.

But then, I could see myself loving Will and I'd taken a step back.

Doing scary things was hard.

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