Page 169 of Accidentally Under Your Tree

The sofa was old and beaten in, and I sank a bit in his direction when he lowered onto the opposite cushion. I propped my elbow to rest my chin. I was overly aware of the space he took up, the negative space that I could fit into. My sudden lack of confidence caught me off guard. Just a few hours ago, I'd been willing to risk it all for the quickest make-out session in a coat closet.

"Here." Will patted his thigh.

"You want me to sit on your lap?"

He cocked his head to the side as if to say,Kinda. But what he said was, "Prop your feet on me so you don't have to be all corkscrew."

My pulse lost a beat or two. A fresh surge of energy lit me up from the inside. I was going to get to geek out about one of my favorite things, while touching him without having to pretend it was an accident or hiding.

I rotated, setting my bare feet on his firm thigh. One of his big hands circled my ankle, and it took me a moment to recover.

"What were you saying about algorithms?" he asked, running his thumb from the top of my foot to the bottom of my calf.

I swallowed. "Um…A better place to start would be, how much of your finances are based on your flips and how much is based on your YouTube channel?"

A crease formed between his eyebrows. "It's still primarily flips. I'd say 75-25."

"Okay, so a significant amount from the show. One benefit of it is that it's evergreen material. Even if details of a video fall out of fashion, there's still helpful information there. And obviously its residual income. But you also sacrifice privacy."

His hold on me tightened, then relaxed. "Would that be a problem for you?"

"No, it's no problem to create an infrastructure for your business. We just have to be strategic."

He bit his lower lip, his teeth glinted in the lights of the mini Christmas tree in the corner. "I meant, would it be a problem foryou?"

"Oh." I pinched the hem of my sweatshirt between my fingers, folding it over and over. "It would…be challenging."

A muscle ticked in his jaw.

"But um…" I began reminding myself how rewarding being bold had been. "I would be willing to try."

His eyes flicked to mine. It was too dark to make out their color, but there was no missing the heat in them. "You would?"

"This is," I searched my mind for the right word, "complicated."

He scoffed.

"But it's given me a chance to see you, the way you help my sister, how genuinely kind you are. I like you."

He tilted his face away from me, hiding his expression. "You deserve better than this."

A million partial thoughts flitted through my mind, but they all agreed with him. At the same moment, I didn't feel used, just dissatisfied.

I finally said, "It's temporary."

I glanced down at my fidgeting fingers. "It'd take some finessing. You and Rose would announce your break-up"—I put finger quotes around break-up—"You and I could date in secret for a few months. I wouldn't want to go public because it's just not me."

"So, you wouldn't openly date me?"

"That's not what I'm saying." I wrapped my hands around my thighs and pulled myself closer to him. "I wouldn't want to be on your show, or on any of your social media. We'd be public in our lives, but not on the internet."

"Given some thought?"

If you only knew how much I think about you…

"Some," I conceded. "Would that be enough for you?"

"Yes." He answered without hesitation. There was something so earnestly sweet about it. I fell a little further for him.

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