Page 58 of Calamity Rayne Knocked Up

“Is she fun? She’s probably boring. She better not be one of those girls who eats half a crouton for dinner.”

“I’ve never met her.”

“Why don’t you get more information when you talk to your brother?”

“Because he’s my brother, not a covert op in espionage.” He pulled into a parking lot. “We’re here.”

I wiped the sweat off my palms, not understanding why I was nervous. It was just an ultrasound, and we’d had them before. Maybe I was excited.

Nope, it was nerves. I could tell because as soon as I got out of the car and looked up at the office building, I had the urge to poop. Or puke. Or maybe I was just hungry. “I should have eaten that soft pretzel.”

Hale took my arm and led me inside. Once we signed in, he and I waited on a set of blue chairs.

“You okay?” He took my sweaty hand and patted it in that soothing way that usually calmed me down.

“What if I can’t see it? There was an episode of Friends when Rachel couldn’t seethe baby. What if I’m like that?” I was the mommy. I should be able to differentiate my unborn child from other ultrasonic goo. There was no doubt in my mind that Hale would recognize the baby right away, but what if I wasn’t so lucky. Should I lie if I can’t find it? What if I never found it until it came shooting out of me like a log on a flume? I needed to stop dramatizing the birth in my head. Everything was going to be fine. We were rich. Rich people had nice calm births with doulas and meditational playlists. What the hell was my Spotify password.

My foot kicked incessantly. “What about the sex?”

“Our sex? I guess I could take the rest of the afternoon off?—”

I shoved him. “No, Hale. The baby’s sex. Do we want to know the gender or not?”

“I would think yes.”

“Really?” I wasn’t so sure. I liked the idea of being prepared, but wasn’t the surprise part of the fun. “No. I think definitely no.”

“You don’t want to know if we’re having a girl or a boy?”

Human error was a real risk in these situations. I was afraid they’d assign the gender wrong, and we’d spend a fortune onstereotypical baby merch only to have to return everything after the refund period expired.

“I think I want to do things the old-fashioned way.” I wanted to be an intuitive who had a natural connection to her child. Whenever I thought about the little bean, I felt a yellowy-orange glow.

Oh, I could go for some cheese fries.I dug through my purse for some snacks but just found a bag of dust that used to be a granola bar. I stashed it back in my bag for emergencies.

“Mrs. Davenport?”

“That’s me.” I stood, doing that dramatic pregnancy rise that mothers do while supporting my back and poking out my stomach. I wasn’t showing much, but my back ached and for some reason, walking like an old man helped minimize the pain.

Hale and I followed the nurse to the ultrasound room. “You can have a seat on the table, and Dr. Levy will be right with you.”

“Oh, uh, do I need to change?”

“Not for today’s appointment.”

She left us in the dim room, and Hale helped me onto the exam table. “I’m nervous.”

“Why?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I just want everything to go well.”

He kissed my temple and gave my shoulder a supportive squeeze. “It will.”

“Do you think we can get cheese fries when we’re done here?”

“Sure. But I thought you wanted a soft pretzel.”

“Can’t we get both?”

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