Page 114 of Calamity Rayne Knocked Up

“I guess Dad was nothing like Hale.”

“No, but I’m not just thinking about your father. Hale’s special. He truly cares about your well-being.”

We rarely spoke about my father, mostly at my request. After the wedding, I wanted to forget my Dad existed—much like he’d forgotten I’d existed for most of my life. But becoming a parent changed my perspective about a lot of things.

“I was scared at first.” I kept my voice low so Hale wouldn’t overhear me.

My mom frowned. “Of what, sweetie?”

This wasn’t an easy confession for me, but it felt good to get it off my chest. “I sometimes think that’s why I didn’t get pregnant immediately. I was afraid of doing it alone. You made it look so easy, Mom. Even when we were barely making it, you made sure I always had everything I needed.”

“Oh, honey, Hale would never abandon you.”

I believed that too, but there was still that deep seated fear that no man could tolerate me forever. “Sometimesdads leave.”

She squeezed my hand. “And sometimes they stay and break the cycle. Hale loves you and Elara with all of his heart. He’ll love this new baby just as much. You’ll see.”

“I hate that his abandonment left such a prominent scar.”

She paused the television and turned to fully face me. “Honey, your father didn’t abandon you. He left because I threw him out.”

“What?”

She wrung her hands. “You have to understand. I only wanted to protect you. I always tried to make the right choices, but you see now there’s no one-size-fits-all playbook for parenting.”

My mind was reeling. “Hold on. You’re saying Dad never actually left?”

She scoffed. “Believe it or not, getting him out was quite the chore. But I knew it would be for the best.”

“How was that for the best?”

“Rayne, a mother’s love is so overwhelming and all-encompassing, I don’t know if men can fully grasp what we feel as mothers. Fathers are different. You were precious and perfectand I would have done anything to protect you. Even if that meant protecting you from a lousy father.”

A few years ago, I would have questioned my mom’s assessment of the man who shared my DNA. But today I was wiser. My father would have continuously let me down and hurt me. I believed she protected me from that, even if it was sometimes lonely and confusing not to have a dad around. “You did a good job, Mom.”

“I did my best.”

I never thought of my mom as tough, but it took a strong backbone to throw a man out, knowing life would be hard in other ways without him. “Was it because of Laura?”

“Laura, and the others. Your father has always been an extraordinarily selfish man. Ray was always worrying about Ray. The funny thing is, our life actually got easier without him. There were no more surprise collection notices, no more missing paychecks. What we had, we earned, and I made sure we kept everything that was ours.”

My hands rested on my belly. “I think you made the right choice.”

“I hope so.” She pressed play and the drama on the screen continued.

That night, when I went to bed, I was stillthinking about the things my mother said. Unlike my father, my mother had kept her word. She did her best to raise and protect me, always putting my needs before her own.

When I was younger and he’d stand me up, I’d cry and she’d say, “You don’t need him, Rayne.” It took me more than thirty years to realize she was right.

I never told my mom that I met Laura or that I had two half-sisters. Just like she wanted to protect me, I wanted to protect her.

As I lay in bed, I wondered how she managed. I was a frantic mess the first time Elara got sick, but Hale was always there to calm me down and help with the decisions, the way a true partner should. We had the financial stability to give our children everything they could possibly need. My mother had no such security, yet she still made sure my needs were always met.

I wondered how much she had to sacrifice to make that happen. I couldn’t recall her ever having her nails done at a salon or splurging on a pretty piece of clothing simply because she liked it. As a matter of fact, my mother was still wearing clothes she’d owned since my childhood.

Unable to sleep, I put on Hale’s robe and tiptoed down to his office. I logged onto the laptop and opened a search engine. An hour later and I had a list of addresses and names.

“There you are.” Hale appeared at the door, bare-chested and holding a bottle of water.

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