Page 52 of Guarded from Sabotage

“Does it matter if we both feel the same?”

A smile spreads across my face. “I guess it doesn’t.”

Sarah smiles back at me, but a moment later, she frowns.

She couldn’t have changed her mind this quickly, could she? “What’s wrong?”

In an affronted tone, she says, “We’re supposed to have sex tonight. I got candles, and I’m wearing my sexiest underwear, and… now I’m sore and all covered in bruises and my lip is banged up and that’s not how I want our first time to be.”

This kind of problem, I can fix. “We’ll just wait a couple of days. That’s all. Tonight, we’ll sleep in the same bed together, and I’ll hold you all night, and I’ll make you breakfast in bed in the morning. How does that sound?”

Sarah gazes at me for a few seconds, and then her lips curve up again. “I think it sounds good. Great, actually. But in a couple of days, wearehaving sex. Okay?”

I grin at her, and everything is right in the world again. “Okay.”

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

SARAH

Why am I so nervous?

Up until about a minute ago, I was fully confident in my plan. OperationConvince Dante I’m Not Going to Break and It’s Really Okay to Have Sex.

It’s a little long. MaybeOperation CDINGBROHS?

Maybe not.

But regardless of what it’s called, the purpose is the same. I want to reassure Dante that I’m fine, he doesn’t have to treat me like spun glass, and I ammorethan ready to have sex with him.

If I’m being honest with myself, it’s more than just sex. In my heart, at least, it’ll be making love.

Yes. Love. Because I think I’m falling in love with Dante.

No. I don’t think I am. Iknow.

And it’s not the safe, comfortable affection I felt for Tanner, back before our relationship fell apart. It’s a million times more than that. I feel like Dorothy as she entered Oz, stepping into a world filled with a rainbow of colors.

It’s all because of Dante. He brings the color I never knew I was missing. But now that I’ve seen it, experienced it, I never want to go without again.

Not that I’m going to toss around the L-word just yet. I don’t want to freak Dante out by rushing things. Although… When he told me I was the one he’s been waiting for, that’s close to love, isn’t it?

I think it might be.

There’s no question in my mind that he cares about me. He shows me in a hundred different ways—making me coffee and breakfast every morning, no matter what his schedule looks like, watching my sappy movies without complaint, the thoughtful gifts he gives me just because, and staying up for hours sharing silly stories about his childhood when I can’t get back to sleep after a nightmare.

I know Dante cares about me. And he thinks I’m beautiful. Smart. Kind. He compliments me all the time.

So I should be feeling good about this. Ready to put OperationFinally Have Sex With My Hot Boyfriend I’m Falling in Love Withinto action. I should be thinking about touching Dante’s body and discovering if he’s as well-endowed as I think he is. I should be looking forward to feeling him inside me, relieving the growing emptiness only he can fill.

Iwasfeeling good about Operation FHSWMHBIFLW until I looked in the mirror, and instead of feeling confident in how I look—hair freshly deep-conditioned, eyes bright with anticipation, skin glowing from the shimmery lotion I put on after my shower—I’m bombarded by insecurities.

Am Itoosparkly? Do I look like one of those women on the reality shows instead of subtly sexy, like the bottle promised?

Are my boobs too small to pull off this look? The model wearing this lingerie set on the website had C cups at least, and mine are at best a generous A. Would I be better off in a T-shirt and shorts, like I usually wear to sleep?

Should I have done something special with my hair? Curled it? Added highlights?

What if Dante turns me down? What if I go out to the kitchen where he’s making breakfast and he very gently—he would never be unkind about it—says he doesn’t think it’s a good idea?

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