Page 41 of Lady of Shadows

“Like a caged feral animal,” Cassius replied. They had come to the highest bridge on the sixth floor and were stopped in the middle, looking out the window over the Tana River. “Sorin told me. Of what happened with Callan a few days ago.”

She turned to him. “When? How?”

“Before your meeting. When he told you he was picking something up. He came to help Briar get me over the border. Briar and I had to work out how I was going to get back, and we sent Amaré to Sorin when we were ready to come to you,” Cassius explained.

Scarlett turned back to the full-length windows, folding her arms and resting them along the railing. “I would have stayed with Mikale, you know,” she finally said. “To keep you and Nuri and Callan safe.”

“I know you would have.”

“He is not done. He is biding his time. He is planning something.”

“We will be ready for it, Seastar.”

“Will we?” she asked, bringing her eyes back to his. “He has already shown I can do nothing against him. He is stronger than me and is nobility.”

“From my understanding, you are royalty,” Cassius said with a smirk.

“How do you know that?”

“Nuri told me. She knows quite a bit apparently, but is bound by some type of magic that does not allow her to share much. It was quite the feat to get that much from her,” Cassius replied.

“It does not matter. I do not want a throne. It is why I walked away from Callan.”

“That is not why you walked away from Callan.” Cassius was staring down at the river flowing far below them. Scarlett was quiet, waiting for him to go on. “You walked away from Callan because you could not be your entire self with him. You were exhausted from having to keep so much hidden from him. You welcomed the cage when it came because it let you breathe for the first time in a long time.”

“How insightful of you,” she said sharply.

“I am not saying you did not have feelings for him, Scarlett. I am not saying you used him. Quite the opposite, actually. I think he used you in his own way, but that is neither here nor there. You loved him, maybe a part of you still does, but he will never be able to accept all of you.” Cassius shifted, leaning his back against the railing so he could see her face. “Your shadows have lessened since that day on the beach.”

“That day on the beach I had no control,” Scarlett growled. “I could have frozen you all. I still can’t control it. Sorin has been trying to teach me, but it feels futile.”

“You have been here less than two weeks, and from what Sorin told me, you spent the first five days either sleeping or vomiting your guts up. You did not learn to fight in two weeks. I’m assuming mastering your power will take time as well.”

“Time is something we do not have,” Scarlett whispered.

“Seastar, you need this time. We do not know what is coming. We do not know what we will face or when we will face it, but right now, in this moment, you need to breathe. Do not apologize for that. You have sacrificed much. You may have to do so again, but we can sacrifice some,too. Take some time to be happy before you come home,” Cassius said.

“How can I be happy when our children are being targeted, Cassius? When you and Nuri are in imminent danger every day because of my actions?”

“You will come for them, Scarlett, but coming back now would be like jumping back into a fight while you are still bleeding from a gaping wound. We are not your responsibility to protect.”

“Yes, you are!” she cried. “You carry two titles, Cassius. You are a Commander and a Black Syndicate Imperial. You know that those below you are your responsibility.”

“Are we discussing the Black Syndicate or your recent bloodline discovery?” he asked gently.

“I am not a princess nor am I a queen.”

“It appears it is in your blood, Seastar.”

“Stop.”

“Your mother was a queen in every sense of the word. I don’t know the story. I do not know how she ruled in this world. I do know how she ruled in the Black Syndicate. I can only imagine how benevolent she was as a true queen, Scarlett. I would have to believe you would be the same.”

“Enough. I am not my mother,” Scarlett whispered.

There was a long pause of silence then Cassius said gently, “We want you home, Seastar, but we can wait for you. You are worth the wait.”

Scarlett sighed, leaning her head against Cassius's shoulder. Home. He’d said it twice now. She felt more at home here in this palace than she ever had in Baylorin, but could a place really be home without Cassius? “Can I be even more selfish and ask you to come here until we figure things out?”

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