Page 106 of Lady of Shadows

“What does my absence change? You are the Crown Prince, whether I am there or not. You will be king whether I am there or not,” Scarlett argued.

“But you will not be my queen!” He regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth, closing his eyes in a grimace.

She stilled in that way only Fae could do. “Nothing has changed between us, Callan.”

“Of course not. Not with him here,” Callan returned bitterly.

“Callan. Nothing has changed. I still do not desire to be a queen, no matter how many different ways it is offered to me. I still do not desire to be chained to a throne.”

“How is my throne any different from his?”

Scarlett’s face hardened. “Do you see me parading around on his arm, Callan? Have you seen us steal kisses or sneak away to be alone together? Have any of our interactions appeared to be courting or betrothing?”

“You share chambers, Scarlett,” he said pointedly.

She huffed a laugh. “You and your noble propriety,” she scoffed with a roll of her eyes. “Do you know how many nights I slept beside Cassius in the Tyndell Manor? Did you know Drake is the one who carried me into the bath the night Mikale took what he desired?I share chambers with Sorin because I wake nearly every night screaming from nightmares, and he knows how to reach me when the shadows and the fire and the ice overcome me. I will not apologize for that. I will not apologize for ridiculous decorum having no place in my world, in the things I have experienced.”

She brushed past him, heading back to the palace. “Scarlett, wait! I am sorry,” Callan called, rushing to catch up with her.

She paused, letting him come to her side. “You need to stop waiting for me, Callan. We are too different. Our worlds are too different.”

“I tried, you know,” he snapped. “After six months of you not coming to my rooms. After six months of no explanation. After that dinner at the Tyndell Manor that evening when you hardly looked at me. I tried. I tried to find a Court Lady. I tried to find someone whowantedto be my queen. But none of them… None of them spoke to me like I was anyone other than a Prince. None of them called me Callan. None of them wanted to discuss books. None of them knew anything outside of the wealth they grew up in. None of them challenged me the way you do. None of them made me want to be a better person, a better ruler, the way you do.”

She stood, gaping at him slightly in surprise. “I was— IamDeath’s Maiden, Callan. I am part of the Black Syndicate’s Wraiths of Death. It would never be possible. You have to know that.”

“No matter how many times you say it to me, Scarlett, I will not believe it. We would figure it out. Wecouldfigure it out.”

“No, Callan, we couldn’t. There are parts of my world you would not be able to get past,” she said, shaking her head as if trying to wake up from a dream.

“Like what? Your magic?”

“Like the fact that I’vekilledpeople, Callan. Like the fact that Nuri and Cassius are part of me, come with me.”

“They are not an issue. They live in Baylorin,” Callan countered.

“And Sorin?”

“What of him?”

“He is my… He is part of me, too. This Court is part of my family,” she exclaimed, gesturing widely with her arm.

“Sorin is your what?” Callan demanded.

“I don’t know what he is!” she cried. “All right? I do not know. He understands me on the deepest of levels. He is my mirror.”

“He is your soulmate?”

“I don’t know.”

“I can live with that, Scarlett,” he said, reaching for her hand. “I can live with him being your soulmate.”

She looked down at her hand clasped in his own and stared at it. Then she gently pulled her fingers from his and whispered, “I don’t know if I can live with that.”

She turned and walked back to the palace, silent as the wraith she was, leaving him out in the cold and snow.

CHAPTER 34

SORIN

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