Page 177 of Lady of Shadows

“What will it do?”

She felt him take a few steps towards her. She couldn’t turn to him. She knew what was coming. He had let her sleep when she fell asleep beside him late in the afternoon yesterday after all the dramatics of the day. She had slept through the night, not even waking for dinner. He had given her time and space and distraction, but now he had questions and was going to ask them. Was going to push for answers that she had kept so guarded these last weeks…until she had carelessly left that book in the library after her argument with Callan.

“It will summon him help,” she said, rubbing her hands along her arms. It wasn’t cold in here by any means, but she felt cold inside.

“What kind of help, Scarlett?” She felt him gently touch her elbow.

She took a deep breath and turned to him. “The kind only I can give.”

“Tell me what that means.” She could see the frustration he was trying hard to keep from his face.

“Why don’t you just come out and ask it, Sorin?”

“There are so many things you are keeping hidden, I do not know what to ask first,” Sorin retorted.

“Did you finally find your balls?” Scarlett drawled with a smirk.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

She took a few steps away from him, putting space between them. “You’ve been walking on glass around me for weeks. Afraid to push me. Afraid to ask questions. You’ve beenafraidof me.”

“Yes! Yes, I have been. Because you put up walls and shut people out as easily as I do. We are one and the same, remember? And there is still a wall up. You put it back up that day we fought, and I have been unable to cross it since,” he countered. “What happened to letting each other in, Scarlett? What happened to not shutting each other out?”

“I have answered your questions,” she argued.

“Vaguely. You have been half present for weeks, and you have been withholding information.”

“Because I haven’t figured out how to deal with it all yet,” she replied. “I haven’t worked out all the details.”

“So let me help you. You do not need to do things alone any more.”

“Yes, I do! The more people I involve, the more people I endanger, Sorin. It is better this way.” She turned and began to walk towards the door.

“No,” he snarled. “That is not how this works between you and me.” She stilled. “I call you out when you are being particularly vexing. I do not let you win just because you are my queen. You do not get to shut me out.”

“Sorin, please,” she whispered.

He was before her now, leaning down to look into her eyes. “Why? You have an entire Court who will literally give their lives for you. You will need to learn to trust others, Scarlett. Your Court needs to know you trust them.Ineed to know you trustme.Tell me why.”

“Because I cannot bear the thought of any of you being put into danger because of me!” Scarlett cried. “Because I know what is coming, and I have not yet figured out how to stop it! How do I explain that to everyone without a clear plan of action?”

“You depend on your Court to help you figure it out, Scarlett. You depend on those of us who have faced such threats before. You depend onme.” He reached to stroke her cheek, but she stepped back from him.

“I have not depended on anyone so thoroughly since my sisters, and it was used against me, Sorin! It endangered everyone I love!” Sorin’s eyes went wide with understanding. “People willdiebecause of me! Some of our family maydiebecause of my choices and orders. How do I live with that? I barely survived the loss of Juliette. I do not know that I could bear to go through that grief again. I do not think I would survive it a second time.”

“Scarlett,” Sorin said softly, tenderly. He gently took her hand and led her to the bench she had just sat on with Callan. “Briar did not pledge his loyalty to you simply because you are Eliné’s heir. He saw that you were someone worth fighting for. My Court does not blindly serve you because I do or because you are my twin flame. They see a queen fighting for something bigger than herself. You rob them of defending their home and their people that they love by shoving them to the sidelines under the guise of keeping them safe and protected. Give them the choice and freedom to make those decisions.”

“Gods,” Scarlett sniffed, wiping a stray tear from her cheek, “you really are ancient, aren’t you? That’s the advice of a wise, ancient sage.”

Sorin laughed as he brought his hand to her cheek. “If you do not give yourself permission to depend on others, your time on the throne will be lonely and will feel like the cage you so fear, my Love. Freedom lies in letting others in and letting them share the burden.”

“Even though it is mine to bear?”

“Who says? I think you would love to do things your own way,while flipping off the Fates the entire time,” Sorin replied with a smirk.

Scarlett snorted, leaning her brow against his, savoring the strength of him. After a long moment of silence, she stood. “Well, let’s go then, Prince.”

“Where to?” he asked with a raise of his brow.

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