Page 141 of Lady of Darkness

“How can you be in the same room as him?”

“Well, I’m not exactlypleasantto him,” Scarlett said bitterly. “The words I say to him are carefully chosen. It is indeed a game we play, he and I, but I manage to stay a step or two ahead of him.”

Sorin thought back to the various interactions he’d seen take place between her and Mikale. How she’d spouted off about finding men so unreliable that night he’d first met her. The time Drake had warned her that early morning that Mikale was there. Then there was a few nights ago when she’d panicked about possibly having to dance with him, to feel his hands on her again.

“Please do not pity me,” Scarlett said softly. She was looking down at her lap, at their hands linked together.

Sorin reached over with his other hand and lifted her face to look at him. Something in his chest tightened at the tears on her cheeks. “I do not pity you, Scarlett. Your past makes you who you are, even if you have lived through hell. It can either break you or forge you. Admiration of your courage? Yes. Utter fury at what you have been forced to endure? Yes. But never pity.”

“Most days, I feel like he did break me,” she whispered. “Some days I wish he would have just killed me instead.”

The fear and panic and utter desperation that flooded over him was like being shoved under icy water and held there.

“Don’t,” he whispered. “Do not ever say that again.”

Sorin held her chin for a few more seconds, staring into her icy blue eyes. When he let go, she let her forehead fall against his chest. He stroked her hair slowly, running everything he’d just learned through his mind. He needed to tell her about her mother and her heritage, but he couldn’t possibly bring it up now after such a heavy conversation.

The clock over the mantel said it was nearing midnight. Scarlett had shifted her head back to his shoulder and, after ten more minutes of silence, each left to their own thoughts, he realized she’d fallen asleep. He woke her just enough to have her take her tonic. She was instantly back asleep. With a wave of his hand, a pillow came from the bedroom carried on a phantom flame. He laid it on his lap and gently eased her onto it to avoid a stiff neck. She sighed in her sleep,stretching out her legs, wincing slightly at the strain on her abdomen.

Sorin wasn’t sure who he wanted to kill more— the Assassin Lord or Mikale Lairwood.

He arranged a blanket over her, sending a flood of heat through it. He watched her sleep, just as he’d done on his various watches the last few days. Her breathing was slow and even. He stroked her hair, his fingers grazing her cheek.

Exhaustion came over him swiftly, and he realized he had hardly slept these last few nights. He required little sleep when he didn’t have access to his magic, but when his magic was coursing through his veins, it used up his energy stores quickly. He settled back into the sofa, careful not to disturb her as she slept.

The conversation they’d had tonight was one he had not been prepared for. Never in all his years would he have guessed at what she had endured. He understood then why she had downplayed her abilities. He understood why she stayed sequestered in the Lord’s manor. He understood why she had said she wanted to go anywhere but here that night in the training barracks.

He understood her and Cassius and what they had become. He had kept her from breaking, had done whatever it took to keep her from going over an edge.

When it comes to her, I outrank everyone.

He finally let himself acknowledge the fact that he’d been jealous. He’d been jealous at the ease of her and Cassius. He’d been jealous of Callan and that he got to sleep next to her so many nights. He’d been jealous of Nuri for knowing details about her that she would not share with him.

Then there was the matter of Mikale. How he would be able to face him again after this knowledge, he did not know.

As sleep finally claimed him, he let himself acknowledge something else he’d been pushing away. Something he’d refused to even entertain these last few months, not thinking it was a possibility. He let an old prophecy come to his mind made by an Oracle a few years prior. It was one he had thought he had run from but had ended up running right into.

CHAPTER 37

SCARLETT

Scarlett awoke an hour or so before dawn. The only light was the fire that was still crackling in the hearth. She could feel Sorin’s arm still draped protectively across her chest, his hand resting on her shoulder, and she turned to find him sleeping. She studied him, his face softened by sleep. Despite having only known him a few months, she’d somehow found herself sharing things with him she hadn’t shared with anyone else. And while she did enjoy kissing him, she couldn’t help but feel like shit for whatever was still going on with Callan, despite her attempts to end it.

She stared at the fire, letting her mind wander. Until it stilled on memories she’d long kept locked up. Veda stabbing Cassius. Nuri bleeding out. An old office. Plunging a dagger into Juliette’s heart. Hearing her say I love you. Now that they were out, she couldn’t get them shoved back into that place deep inside her.

Veda stabbing Cassius. Nuri bleeding out. An old office. Plunging a dagger into Juliette’s heart. Hearing her say I love you.

Breathe,she ordered herself, but she couldn’t regulate it. She couldn’t get enough air down. Pain burned in her ribs where the Assassin Lord had injured her as she tried to make her lungs cooperate.

It was like a nightmare, but one she couldn’t wake up from. The images flashed before her again and again. Veda stabbing Cassius. Nuri bleeding out. An old office. Plunging a dagger into Juliette’s heart. Hearing her say I love you.

She sat upright, pain flaring in her abdomen, and Sorin was instantly awake beside her. “Scarlett.” His hands were on her face. His golden eyes were on hers, but there was no terror or worry in them. Not like Cassius got. Just a calmness, a steadiness that she hadn’t known she’d been searching for. “Breathe.”

But she couldn’t.

Veda stabbing Cassius. Nuri bleeding out. An old office. Plunging a dagger into Juliette’s heart. Hearing her say I love you. She could hear her. She could hear Juliette as if she were holding her head in her lap once more.

“Scarlett.” He brought her hand to his chest. “Feel me. Feel me breathing in and out. Make our breathing match. In and out.”

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