“You’ll never find her,” he gasped out.
The darkness thickened until he could see nothing, but he heard his father’s words.
“Then no one will ever find you. Soon enough, there will no longer be a need for a spare heir, and you can finally fulfill your true purpose.”
45
TESSA
She was lying on the bed again, waiting and flipping through the book Rordan had given her for Solstice.
The book he’d held on to for her, then returned when she sent him a message asking for it. Everyone had assumed that message had gone to Auryon after the Augury attack.
It hadn’t.
There was nothing else to do in this room. No television. No music. Just her and her thoughts, these godsdamn visions she didn’t understand, and this book.
Tessa lifted a hand, watching the light pool and crackle like a miniature storm in her palm. She had her magic, she supposed. Everyone warned her not to fall prey to its calling, that it would control her, but she didn’t think that was true. Her power offered her freedom. In the light, she didn’t have to think. She could simply exist. She didn’t have to worry about feeling or bonds or dragons or emerald eyes. She didn’t have to worry about any of it.
A part of her was hoping Luka would appear in the room again. It was too quiet here. It was too easy to dwell on things that no longer mattered. Music playlists and doughnuts.Running and warm coffee. Waking up between two warm bodies and a mouth and fingers that knew exactly how to give her what she didn’t even know she needed.
She could feel him on the other side of her mental shields, constantly searching for a crack. Constantly knocking, asking for entry. Keeping the shields in place was second nature now. Mastering them had consumed her, and now she could keep them out of her head and away from her emotions with little effort. There was nothing she could do about the physical presence, though. She could maybe block Theon and the bond, but not the fucking Tracking Mark that they all had. She didn’t know how to render it obsolete.
Soon it wouldn’t matter anyway.
But gods. It was too fucking quiet being alone. She hadn’t spoken to or seen anyone since Luka left, and while she understood this was to be her life now, she couldn’t help but let a crack form as she felt him pacing on the other side.
What’s it like?she asked down the bond.
She felt the ripple of shock from both of them, but it was Theon’s voice that echoed in her mind.
Tessa? Fuck. Are you all right?
Why wouldn’t I be all right?
I just— I don’t know. I can’t see you, feel you, hear you.
I’m fine,she replied.There are plenty of thoughts to get lost in and keep me occupied.
Tessa…
What’s it like?she repeated.To never be alone? To know that you’ll always have someone?
You’re not alone, Tessa,came Luka’s voice.
What do you need, little storm?Theon asked.
Nothing you can give me.
The distant sound of a commotion had her sitting up and sliding off the bed, the book falling to the wayside. The floorwas cool against her bare feet. She’d rolled up the rugs, stacking them in the corner earlier that day. She didn’t like the feel of them. They reminded her too much of socks.
Her fingers connected to the wall as she pulled them along, her thin black gown swishing at her ankles. It was loose and flowing with an open back. Probably too cold for winter, but she didn’t feel the chill.
She didn’t feel much of anything anymore. Wouldn’t let herself.
I’m working on this, Tessa,came Theon’s voice.I swear to you I’m going to fix this and then I’ll prove?—
I don’t need anyone to fix anything for me, she snarled down the bond.