Page 83 of Grumpy Puck

“I don’t mind, and please, call me Max.I’ll text you a Zoom link.It will be me and a few other involved parties.”

The link comes immediately, as does my ride.

As soon as I’m situated in the Uber, I get on the call, which turns out to be an interview.And despite what happened with Michael earlier, I manage to answer every question calmly, describe the show that I’d create without any hesitations, and overall project a professionalism and confidence that I do not even remotely feel.

“That all sounds good,” Max says, speaking for the whole group.“Now, let’s talk about your compensation.”He throws me a number that is triple what I currently make—even with the incentives to pretend to be dating Michael.

Unable to believe that I’m actually doing it, I counter with a number that’s fifteen percent higher, and Max agrees.

“In that case, I’ll take the job,” I say giddily.

I would have taken it even with a pay cut, but I’m glad they don’t know that.

“Perfect,” Max says.“Can you start tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow?”I swallow as the enormity of what’s happening finally hits the lizard part of my brain—and is maybe making me hear things.

“I know it’s a Saturday,” he says.“But the theater is open.”

“But… tomorrow?”

“Right.Sorry, I neglected to mention the urgency.The reason we have an opening right now is because another theater poached one of our performers.My wife reminded me of you, and you were the first person I called.”

The first person… but he’s got more on his list?“I have to give my current employer two weeks’ notice.”At least I assume that’s what they would want.They never really discussed that with me, just the fact that they’d fire me on the spot if the old mascot, Ted, reappeared.Speaking of Ted, he just stopped showing up for work one day, and the team was fine.Then again, Ted wasn’t pretending to be dating one of the players.

Shit.I obviously can’tpretendto date Michael now that we’ve actually started dating.And have just imploded.With that in mind, two weeks of bumping into him sounds like torture.But still?—

“You’re a mascot,” Max says.“Your face isn’t seen.The team can replace you in a heartbeat.”

Mean, but true.They hired me the next day after they decided to fill Ted’s position, and I was one of twenty applicants.

“But… tomorrow?”I won’t even get a chance to see my family before I go, or?—

“Look at this from our perspective,” Max says.“Even if you arrive tomorrow, you’ll need to rehearse and prepare, so we’ll already be losing a couple of weeks’ worth of earnings.”

More like a month or more if we’re realistic, but I don’t point that out because I don’t want to lose this opportunity.

“Just to clarify, are you saying you will not wait?”I ask.

It sounds insane, but then again, the rush does solve a question I haven’t dared to ask myself: where should I stay tonight?

It can’t be Michael’s place.Not after?—

“Sorry to pressure you like this,” Max says.“We’ll cover all your travel expenses, including an airplane ticket for tonight and a hotel room near the airport.Then you can stay at the?—”

He goes into more details, but I only half listen.

I always thought that when I got the job of my dreams, I would be beyond happy, but depressingly, that’s not how I’m feeling at all.

Instead, I’m numb.The seesaw of losing Michael, followed by this interview, is just too much to process in such a short time.

“How does all that sound?”Max asks, bringing me back to the conversation.

“Great,” I reply, imbuing my voice with the cheerfulness that would be there had everything not gotten so messed up.“I will see you tomorrow.”

With that, I hang up and face Wolfgang.“Can you believe it?We’re going to have our show, after all.”

He rubs his paws on his face.

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