Page 18 of Grumpy Puck

Once again, everyone’s jaws drop, and again, Wolfgang and I are the exceptions.

“Who are the Pineapple Ice Surfers?”I ask.

“The Hawaiian team,” Michael says.“They are the worst in the DHL, and no one ever comes to see them get slaughtered live.Not unless the game takes placeinHawaii.”

“And that’s not the case this time,” Coach says.“They’re coming here for that one.”

“That’s correct,” Eve says.“The financial implications are huge.”She looks meaningfully at Adam.“I presume things are equally bright on your end?”

He nods.“Fortunately, Michael breaking that camera didn’t make the news,” he says.“Neither did the team demolishing the bar yesterday.Or?—”

“Why the fuck arewehere?”Michael gestures at me.“Can someone get around to explaining that?”

Coach, Adam, and Eve all look meaningfully at Linda.

“Why do I have to explain it?”Linda demands.

“Because it’s delicate?”Coach says, a bit tentatively.

“And you’re in HR,” Adam adds.

“Fine.”Linda faces us.“This meeting is to discuss the impact of Honey and Boo Boo.”

Oh.

“What the fuck is Honey and Boo Boo?”Michael demands.

“Us,” I say, cringing.“Though I’m not sure which of us is which.”

Michael grunts in frustration.“That viral fucking video.”

“No, it’s a kissing video,” Adam says.“But if you think another video with someotheractivity might surface, it would make my job easier if you tell me now.”

“What other video could there be?”I ask, but what I really mean is, “How slutty does Adam think I am?”

“I thought we’d established that I’d handle the talking?”Linda says icily to Adam, and you can tell she wants to smack him but restrains herself due to HR policy.

“Please,” Adam says sheepishly.“Go on.”

“Thank you,” Linda says.“As I started to say, the video is having a very positive impact on this team, and given the financial troubles we’ve been facing”—she gestures at Eve—“this development couldn’t have come at a better time.”

Everyone except me, Michael, and Wolfgang nods.

“You’re welcome,” I say tentatively.

“And get to the fucking point,” Michael growls.

Linda sighs.“Right.The point.”She puts her hands in a praying position and touches her nose.“With your cooperation, we’d like to keep the public interest going.”

“And are willing to compensate you,” Eve chimes in.“For the inconvenience that said cooperation might cause.”

“Huh?”I glance at Michael to check if he’s following this.

He isn’t, or so I figure because he puts the question a lot more eloquently than I would when he shouts, “What the fuck do you fucks need us to fucking do?”

“Nothing bad,” Linda says a bit too quickly.“Just a little PR stunt, is all.”She turns to Adam.“Do you want to jump in?”

Adam glances worriedly at Michael.“I thought you wanted to do the talking.”

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